I am in the same situation. On my 9th wedding anniversary (together 13)I found out my husband was cheating on me by turning on the computer and getting access into his email and facebook account because he forgot to make sure the computer went off completely before he walked away.
I was able to read emails that him and his lover wrote to each other, bbm messages he'd saved (why?) and FB emails professing their undying love to each other. He professed to the affair and told me he'd met her on FB through a mutual friend. She was in a bad marriage and had given up on it but just hasn't started divorce proceedings. They had first spoke 3 months prior and after 1 month started their physical relationship that lasted 2 months. He told me he'd broken up with her the night before because he felt horrible about it and knew he loved me. I also found that he had been texting several women that he claims are only friends but it was way way too much.
We are almost 2 months into recovery after I agreed to stay with him. He has broken off contact with her since that day and although she called incessantly for a week after (he changed his cell phone # and blocked her FB) he says he is remorseful and wishes he could make my hurt go away.
I am in constant turmoil over staying with him, trying to believe he loves me and not her but I cannot. I dont trust him at all. My heart is completely broken. This woman actually works in the building next to mine and we park our cars in the same garage.
I desperately want to contact her husband. Ive told my husband this but he doesnt think its healthy to think revenge. I think hes only trying to protect her. I want to destroy her life for leading him (we were having difficulties) away just because she was not happy. I know everything about her. I know her address, her name, her husbands name, her kids names, her car, where she works (ironically she works in the same office as MY SISTER). I dont know what to do either....
What did you wind up doing?
Rating
Similar Story by: Kathy
My situation sound similar to yours. My husband had been talking to this woman for 3 months and they met 3 times.
The third time they met they had sex. I found out a week later by looking through his email and phone. It has been almost 2 months since I found out.
All I know is that I still love him. We have a child together and that kept me from leaving him right away. We are trying to work it out.
I think that it is important to understand why he cheated in the first place. It has helped to talk about everything leading up to the cheating.
I also gave the woman he cheated with 2 weeks to tell her husband then I sent him a message on facebook. He called me 1 month after that and his wife still never told him.
He thanked me for telling him because he also felt that he shouldn't be lied to. Maybe it was revenge against her that I felt I needed to tell him, maybe I wanted to make sure that she felt the same pain and didn't hide behind the lie.
Talking to her husband about what happened has helped me get through this because we were both hurt by our spouses.
It takes time and lots of talking, but if your really love him you can make it work. It just won't be easy.
There are days I break down but there are good days too.
Rating
Bunnyfoo... by: Anonymous
Bridget,
You are a very beautiful woman, and you need to really respect yourself alot more. He doesn't deserve you!
Don't even waste your energy trying to find the husband. It may be best to keep him in your life for the kids sake, but not as a partner and definitely not as a husband!
