I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. My husband also had an affair and he did not use protection. I cannot say with accuracy any more than you can about whether or not she is lying, however, her rationale for him lying sounds fishy and convoluted. My husband lied several times with better and more convincing stories until he finally came out with the truth about his affair. If I were you, I would absolutely get tested. Although it is painful to hear and difficult to acknowledge, it is highly likely that she is lying. Also, affairs and sexual indiscretions are often not planned and are the product of "getting caught up" and sliding down a slippery slope. It's unlikely that they stopped to get protection once they allowed themselves to cross the line. I hope you are able to heal from this hurt as quickly as possible. It does get better. All the best to you.
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I must say.. by: Anonymous
I give you all the credit in the world for trying to make it work, but I really don't think she would tell you the truth if she didn't use protection.
Talking about cheating is difficult enough and if she can soften the blow even a bit she will.
I think you are just going to have to cope with the possibility that she didn't use protection and if your health is the major concern then you guys need to go get tested.
Mentally the thought of her not using protection can be tough, but it is what it is and you are choosing to try to get past it so that is also something that you are going to have to appease in your mind through your own efforts of forgiveness.
Sometimes the person that was cheated on may even want to hear that the sex wasn't good, but that isn't the main issue and if you are choosing to forgive, then the details may need to become irrelevant or blurred in your mind.
