Am I crazy! - "I need to know that it is not me."

by P.Reynolds
(New jersey)

I have been married for 12 years. Although my wife and I are different in a lot ways our love for each other keep us together through all disputes and difficulties.

The problem for us is we never can communicate. It seems that when she has something or her mind I listen. When i have something on my mind she calls it starting a fight.

After years of this I decided to distance myself from her to see if that would make her say" What are we doing, lets get this worked out."

Instead she started having an affair. I had always trusted her never questioned trips for work or with girl friends, but she used these excuses to cheat.

She never says she cheated even though she lied to me to be with this other man. She won't talk about it and says it is my fault because I pushed her away.

I have more than enough proof that she was having affair. All she says is that I pushed her away and gets angry because I do not believe that she didn't have sex with him.

Yet all the ridiculous lies to fly across the country to go to Las Vegas or Lake Tahoe or stay at his house.

She even say's that if I had done the same thing to her, that she would not even want to be married, but she thought I wanted to work it out.

I did but I said she had to be transparent and honest. Well a month ago she had a mysterious sudden trip for work.

I said I wanted to see proof that it was for work and she said she would show me proof. A month later there is nothing.

She has no proof she was in Cleveland but I found a receipt from an airport in Chicago. She has no explanation.

Now she says she will show me proof when her lawyer serves me with divorce papers. My self esteem is shot, she makes me seem like I am crazy, that I am obsessed with this friend that she lied to me and took trips with behind my back.

I need to know that it is not me.