He's Cheated Several Times - I'm constantly afraid he will go do it again

by Kirsten
(Kentucky)

I have only ever slept with one guy. We have been together for 4 years. We have a son. He was born on his dad's birthday. We named him after him and everything. He has cheated on me a few times but the most hurtful was when I had got pregnant a second time... Well I found out he was talking to his ex who " he hated " so I left I went back to my moms to stay. I come back the next day to our apartment to find her and him naked in our bed. Needless to say I was devastated. During the two months or so Ihe was with her at our place I had our son the whole time he never saw him or tried too. Well we talked after a while and I took him back ( yes I feel stupid) so we get another place together and not even two months later he calls off work and disappears for 30 hours. I had no idea he called in . I thought he was at work all day. But no he never came... I thought he was dead I was worried sick calling cops and hospitals but nothing. Finally he came home. He admitted to cheating on me with a girl from work. Both of these times he was on drugs really bad. He gets with classless girls and does drugs. I mean the girl was pregnant with a kid already. And here I am only ever slept with him. I just don't know what to do I love him to death but it's so hard to look at him everyday knowing what he's done to our family I took him back after sleeping with two Nasty girls and him being strung out on drugs, he's been to rehab but I'm constantly afraid he will go do it again. Thank you for reading.