I knew he was doing it but i didn't have any proof

My partner of 22 years is a serial cheater. I knew he was doing it, his lies became that transparent it was embarrassing.My whole story is embarrassing i cant believe i put up with him for so long.


Up until around 6 years ago i thought we had the perfect relationship. We had a nice house good jobs and two beautiful daughters. We would make time to spend together and loved taking the kids out on family fun days.

He lost his job 6 years ago and I took on a second job to keep our family afloat. I was working 7 days a week and still seemed to be doing all the chores around the house. I became frustrated and felt like i was being abused. I started complaining about my work load and then we started fighting. He was different some how and my heart was breaking.

One Sunday after i had just worked a 12 hour shift, he didn't pick me up from work. I tried his mobile, no answer than it turned off. I waited for about an hour than i had to walk about 10 km to nearest train station. I had to pick our girls up and buy the time i got home i was exhausted. When he got home and i asked him why he didn't pick me up he became very defensive and abused me for asking him what he was doing. I was to tired and to hurt to argue with him, so i went to bed. That was the first night he didn't come to bed with me, he slept in the garage. I cried myself to sleep that night and many nights after that.

When i hadn't seen or heard from him in two days. I rang his friend and i asked him if he was having an affair. He said yes and that our network of friends where surprised that he wasn't even trying to hide it. He had been taking his mistress to our friends house when i was working to keep our family afloat.My heart broke i couldn't breath i was physically sick. I kicked him out than she found out he was married and ended there fling.

He then came to me crying about how sorry he was. He didn't no why he did it and told me how much he loved me and that he would never do it again. I believed him and let him back into my life, the biggest mistake Ive ever made.

Our realanship was never the same after that, it was obvious he no longer loved me or even respected me. I kept telling myself i was doing it for the kids, they need there father. He hardly ever came to bed and i wondered how a person could be so cruel to someone they where supposed to love.

I was suspicious that he was cheating again, but i buried my head in the sand and ignored it. Until one day i came home early from work and found him with a 18 year old girl. He didnt even seem to care that i was there. I kicked him out and was determined not to ever let him back into my life.

We lived apart for about 2 years and i hardly spoke a word to him in that time. Occasionally i would get a sms he accidently sent me instead of his girlfriend. He still was very involved in our girls lives and he never introduced them to her. I respected him for that.

I had an accident and had to undergo several operations, he volunteered to stay with us, so he could help me with the kids. He was a great help and during this time we reconnected. We spent time together and he would take me out. He started telling me that he never stopped loving me and that he was really sorry for what he did to our family. Stupid me i fell madly in love with him all over again. We where a family again and seemed really happy and was really trying to make up for he had done. I let my guard down as i taught we had made it through the truth times. He was devoted to his family now, this lasted for about 2 years.

His behavior changed and i new straight away. I begged him to tell me the truth. I told if he was sleeping around to leave. i explained that i couldn't go through it again,. He promised it my imagination and he would never cheat on me again. I bugged his phone he was cheating but this time he refused to leave. I rang the police they said cause he is not violent they cant help me. Our fights have been becoming violent and i am frighten he may hurt me.

I was looking through our video camera recordings. OMG he had recorded himself having sex with 2 women. One of those womens was his best friends wife. I emailed a copy to her husband his mate, i did ring and warn him first. I than rang the police who are issuing a restraining order. I think today is the day i turn my life around. I can not keep allowing this prick of a man treat me like this. Its not healthy, and its not healthy for our girls.

I thought allowing him back into our lives was the best thing to do for them. But it wasn't it was the worst thing. I taught them that you should put up with an unfaithful aggressive husband.

Its not ok, i hope by me posting my story i will help someone to make the right choice. If he cheats leave him if you stay he will do it again and again.


Comments for I knew he was doing it but i didn't have any proof

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yOU ARE VERY COURAGEOUS
by: Anonymous

Be strong Honey,
I know it doesn't seem like things will ever get better but they will, I promise. If you haven't, then File for divorce immediately.

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im glad you did what you did
by: new york

Hello there.i read your story and i felt sad for you.me,im in the same sex relationship,and i let the woman back into my life for the second time cause i love her so much.the first time,she left me to be with another man and they had children,after 5 years they separated then after 8 years she asked me if i still love her.i told i still love you.we got back together and help her to come here in america but then she started changing towards me.i dont feel she stii love me,i can feel she love somebody else.i can ferl that we are only roommates now.i still do love her so much but sonetimes,i feel i want to move on already.im glad you got rid of yout husband in your life.you can make it.

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you kept letting him bk only cause u still really cared for the bastard .
by: Anonymous

ur story is amazing, i cant believe that he continued to have affairs , after you gave him so many chances , a man like that will never find true happines!!! and for what he put you through he does not deserve to be happy !!! .

i wish you the best , and that some day u find someone that really values ur love and who you are . ( liz )

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