I'm moving on, but I'm still grieving at some points?

by Audrena Cook
(Indiana)

I was with a boy for 5 years.
All of my high school years.
I didn't have a life, and I put all my eggs in one basket.
When he cheated, I had nothing, no one, just because I gave all my friends up for him.
He cheated all the time, and I always went back to him.
He would cry to me, for me to take him back.
And if he wasn't crying for me back, I was begging for him to come back.

It was a horrible relationship.. but for some sense.. I was thrilled with him. I had a horrible childhood, with my father mainly. Tyler was like my father. Everything my father was, controlling, hotheaded, funny, life of the party... but the only thing different was... was tyler showed me attention and made me feel good about myself.

When tyler and I finally broke up, I busted my ass. I graduated high school half year when I was a senior. Went straight to college, got a job, got a house. I'm 18 years old right now and all of this has recently happend.
Right now, I should still be a senior in high school.
Sometimes I wonder, if maybe I'm doing all this because I don't feel like I'm worth anything and I want to be worth something.

Everytime I begin to get over tyler, he pops into the picture again. I'm still hurt, what do I do?