Trying To Forgive - "I just found out last month that he was cheating on me during my pregnancy"

by J.S.
(Florida)

I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years. We have a 2 year old and a 2 month old. I just found out last month that he was cheating on me during my pregnancy and got another woman pregnant. I feel like my whole world and life has been shattered.


It hurts to even breathe, just thinking about him with someone else makes me so sick to my stomache. Everytime I think about it, my chest hurts and I just cant stop crying.

I can't concentrate at work, I can't even concentrate on the kids sometimes because I just want to crawl up and die. I don't understand why men do this, do they not realize how much they HURT us????

I decided to not give up on him because he said he wanted to stay with his family and wasn't going anywhere, and I truly love this man with all my heart.

For now my decision is to try to make it work. But I know this is gonna keep eating at me, because now another child is being brought into the mix. So not only did he cheat, he didn't use protection!!!

I just feel like I cant ever trust him again, so we have been fighting because now I monitor his cell phone and messages, and the devil (Facebook).

So now that I am paying attention to all of these things. I dont agree with all the women on his page that he is friends with, that we dont know.

I am threatened by any woman now that probably is just being friendly but in the back of my mind, I cant help but to think he is gonna stray again. And it just kills me to even think of it. I am going crazy!!!

I dont know what to do, or if I can get past this. he says that I am driving myself crazy for no reason cause he isnt doing anything anymore.

I dont know if anyone else has ever been through this and has any advice, but I am open to suggestions.


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Comments for Trying To Forgive - "I just found out last month that he was cheating on me during my pregnancy"

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Time Heals Hearts
by: Nichole

I can so relate to you as of right know. I have known my ex know since I was 15 and he was 18 we were each others high school sweethearts and first love. We've had two breakups in the total of 9 years we've known each other. Im 23 know and he's 27. I am currently pregnant and single with his baby. Everything was wonderful between us, we had planned of starting a family and getting married. About two months ago he signed in my laptop and never signed out. He was signed in for a week and me noticing it but trusted him fully and did not think any of it. As I went threw his email I found my heartbreak instantly. I found pictures of him with his co worker intimate who is his best friends girlfriend who has 4 kids with him. I confronted him about it and he fell to the ground crying saying sorry. I got all my stuff and left, he has been blocked from my phone ever since and have not seen him ever since. I am currently in depression and pregnant. I hate him so much know it hurts every time because I'm taking a father away from my baby. what should I do?

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Trust issues
by: Anonymous

It's only natural to assume the worst when you have been traumatized by such deceit. Its almost like how society is always suspicious of criminals on parole because past behaviors sometime dictates future behaviors. Hence there is usually a pattern and it takes great will to break out of it.

You are thinking with your heart and not your head. By taking him back so readily, your tolerance for his behavior only means that he will throw more caution in the wind later. In other words he will cover his tracks better. I'm not saying I'm 100% correct. He may never cheat again. Your constant suspicion will 1) make him be more on guard 2) drive you and him crazy 3) lessen the chance of a successful long term relationship. You guys really need to figure out why he cheated. Infidelity is usually symptomatic of a problem in a relationship. Or it can also reflect his character as one who is extremely impulsive, commitment-shy, self centered, etc and if that is the case do u want to really spend the rest of your life with him? Think bout it...

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