Trying To Forgive - "I just found out last month that he was cheating on me during my pregnancy"

by J.S.
(Florida)

I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years. We have a 2 year old and a 2 month old. I just found out last month that he was cheating on me during my pregnancy and got another woman pregnant. I feel like my whole world and life has been shattered.

It hurts to even breathe, just thinking about him with someone else makes me so sick to my stomache. Everytime I think about it, my chest hurts and I just cant stop crying.

I can't concentrate at work, I can't even concentrate on the kids sometimes because I just want to crawl up and die. I don't understand why men do this, do they not realize how much they HURT us????

I decided to not give up on him because he said he wanted to stay with his family and wasn't going anywhere, and I truly love this man with all my heart.

For now my decision is to try to make it work. But I know this is gonna keep eating at me, because now another child is being brought into the mix. So not only did he cheat, he didn't use protection!!!

I just feel like I cant ever trust him again, so we have been fighting because now I monitor his cell phone and messages, and the devil (Facebook).

So now that I am paying attention to all of these things. I dont agree with all the women on his page that he is friends with, that we dont know.

I am threatened by any woman now that probably is just being friendly but in the back of my mind, I cant help but to think he is gonna stray again. And it just kills me to even think of it. I am going crazy!!!

I dont know what to do, or if I can get past this. he says that I am driving myself crazy for no reason cause he isnt doing anything anymore.

I dont know if anyone else has ever been through this and has any advice, but I am open to suggestions.


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