Why cheat?

by Nikita
(Massachusetts)

Hi, I am a freshman at a community college and my ex boyfriend dorms at a local college just a street over from my house.


We dated for over a year and were very serious. The first month of college I noticed that he was changing. He started caring about what people thought and became an alcoholic.

He started lying about why he couldn't hang out late because he was really getting drunk and hanging out with this girl who also dorms at the same college.

The end of October someone I know told me he had a girl sleeping in his bed. I asked him, and of coarse he lied to me saying, people were just lying to me.

Well the night before Halloween we hung out, but he had to leave early to "write a paper." Instead he had gone to the girls hotel Halloween party. (my friend had told me) I ended up finding out where the party was and showed up.

He was totally wasted and started punching everything.(not me) He wanted me to take him back to his school, so i did. He ended up hurting his fist, so one of his friends and I brought him to the hospital.

While my friend and I were waiting he told me what my ex has done. My ex had this girl sleeping in his bed for a month. They kissed and i suppose more. (but everyone has told me they only kissed) I always told myself I would never give a cheater a second chance, but I loved him.

We both work at the same place and I tried being his friend. He stopped drinking for a month and seemed like he really was sorry. I was planning on giving him a second chance this new years.

About a month and a half later he went to another one of her hotel parties...and got drunk. I found out 2 days after by seeing a picture on facebook right before we were suppose to go to nyc.

When I asked him about it he lied to me in four different ways. Now I am trying not to talk to him, and to move on. BUT he has turned into a stalker and is trying to make me feel like everything is my fault.

I have been talking to a boy(not even hanging out) and my ex showed up at his house at 3am leaving him vulgar messages about smashing his windows.(he didn't) I just dont understand why he texts me saying.."I am going to make you feel miserable, just like I do."

Even though he was the one who cheated on me, lied to me, and ruined his chance before I even gave it to him. What can I do.? How can I help myself move on.

Will he ever change?

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