My wife and I have been married for 23 years. For the past 20 years she has had a male friend who was a coworker. They would go to meetings together, lunch dates and at times conventions. I always told my wife I was uncomfortable with this, but she said they were just friends.
On a couple of occasions, I saw an instant message that had some sexual overtones to it. I asked my wife about this and see said that they were just friends and when he drinks, he says some things that may cross the boundaries of good taste.
He left his job about 10 years ago, but my wife has still had an ongoing relationship with him, Lunch dates, texting, phone calls, etc. Again, saying they are just friends. She did confide in my that one time while checking into a hotel for their annual convention, he said that they could save a lot of money if they shared a room. My wife said her response was, how would we explain that to our spouses.
Last week, I found an old face book private message from a few months ago where he asked her to meet him at a hotel in a nearby large city. My wife's response was "Nope, What about your wife?.
Again, I asked my wife about it and got the same response. We are friends and he says stupid things when he is drinking. She also added that when he talks like that, she puts space between them.
One further point of interest is My wife deletes all of his test messages. She does this for no one else but him.
Should I be worried?