Cheated on after 23 years of marriage - And I Still Want it To Work

My husband has been having an affair with a co worker for more than a year now and he even had her living in one of our rentals that had belonged to my father. We took it over before he died. We worked together at the USPS before he talked me into retiring because of my arthritis. I've had a couple surgeries most recently in Dec I had hip replacement.


I found out about the affair when she text him last march and I wanted to know who it was, I thought it was a tenant. I should've seen the signs long before but didn't or maybe I just was caught up in life. After I found out he said he wanted to work on us, that he loved me and he wasn't going to see her anymore, she was going to transfer to fla. we had been working on his parents home getting it ready to sell because they are both now deceased.

I didn't know he had been taking her with him when I didn't. I knew something wasn't right when he didn't give me a card in valentines day, candy gifts and roses but no card, that was a first. She must've got MY card! One day, June 28 I went swimming at a friends house and when I called him later in the day he told me he left.

I was devastated to say the least. I wanted to kill myself, I thought my life was over because he had given the life we worked together for to someone else! Aug was our Anniv.

And he texted me he still loved me and always will. He wasn't with me on thanksgiving and I was in the hospital having my hip replaced on Xmas, no visit no gift even tho he told me he wasn't going to abandon me like everyone was telling me.

It's Jan now and I'm recovering well and he has come to pick up some needed things and he took me to the store and to the bank last week. He is living in one side of our double and my daughter and of friend live on the other side.

My daughter doesn't talk to me much, I know she loves me but I think she thinks this is all my fault and has sided with him, he is her step dad but they are very close, he has been there for her since she was 6, his relationship with his 2 girls from his first marriage is strained, and they don't talk much. I want my husband back and my life we planned for, is that just insane or what?

When I see him we avoid talking about us. He is never here very long and this is not our house and I have to move by spring and have no money to do so until he sells his parents house. I filed for divorce in oct but have been continueing all the hearings so far.

He says he doesn't indie what he wants and he still doesn't know if he's making the biggest mistake of his life or not. Should I try to save this marriage?

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