He Makes Me Feel Like Im Insane...Am I Really?

by Hazel
(California)

Almost a year ago, my husband began to pull away saying that he needed space to get his thoughts in order because he was going through a difficult time in his life. Mostly with work and self esteem, which I knew about.

I wanted to console him and be his emotional rock but he said he only wanted space from me to clear his head. I tried to give him space but during his "space" I noticed that he was having conversations with other women, and often. It wasn't physical, from what I know, because these other women lived out the state and most of the interactions were via internet.

But then again who knows who he was seeing when he was away from me. Anyway I felt hurt and betrayed. He told me that he was confused about his life and since he needed space and I wasn't willing to fully give it to him, he thought that we weren't going to be able to be together through all of his confusion.

He became mean, selfish, and irritated by every little thing I did or said. He wouldn't answer my calls and always had an excuse to not see me. It was an awful time in my life and he broke up with me almost every other week.

Women would call and text while we were together and I had enough. Then one day he just...changed. He was affectionate again, talkative, thoughtful, he began to answer and text me all the time.

He would offer for us to go places. He proclaimed that I was the love of his life and that he was never going anywhere. He left complete open communication between us and freely gave me access to everything.

But some how I just didn't trust him. I would suspect him of cheating every time he was away. I felt bad because he was honestly spending most of his time with me yet I still did not trust him.

I go through his phone and find nothing. I call 10 times in a row while he was at work. I mean I literally have turned into a monster. He tells me that he has honestly made a decision and is committing whole-heartly to that decision and he needs me to trust him.

Yet, I can't find it in my heart to do so, no matter how much he has shown me that he has changed and is committed to me. Now he says that he is getting stressed out because I am not making our relationship easy.

Now Im afraid that I am making him run away again. I don't know what to do. Are my actions justified?