How Long Does a Broken Heart Last?

by Aching in Atlanta
(Lost in the USA)

How long does a broken heart last? I need to know..

How long does a broken heart last? I need to know..

How Long Does a Broken Heart Last? I am a college senior who has been in a relationship with the same girl for the last 3 years. I am totally in love with this girl and I have only hopes and dreams of marrying her someday.

They say long distance relationships do not work. Well, I have been in one for the last 3 years with more than 1500 miles between me and my sweet hear t and my relationship has been what has kept me sane the last few years.

For the entire time I have been here at school I have been teased to no end for having a big picture frame of my girlfriend front and center on my desk. It stays!

It has been a very difficult and stressful semester, and what kept me going was looking forward to coming home to see my girlfriend.

That was then...

I should have listened when they said, “Long distance relationships do not work!”

So I ask again, how long does a broken heart last?

With only a few days left before I headed home for break, while bored I used a password that I knew my girlfriend used for another one of our accounts and was able to get access to her AOL email account. I want to say that it was a bad idea, but I know that somehow I was meant to see what I saw.

“You’ve Got Mail!”

Oh boy, did she ever!

While on her account, I read emails confirming that she was seeing someone for some time and it was also VERY clear that there was no boundaries to their intimacy.

My stomach sick, heading hurting, I didn’t know if I would be able to catch my next breath after encountering what I did.

It has been three years of hoping, holding on, and loving this girl only to be totally crushed in a single night. Since finding out a few days ago I am yet to speak to her. My heart is ACHING for answers now, but my head tells me to wait until I am face to face with her to show her the print out of her emails.

I feel totally betrayed and NEED to see the look on her face and hear the PATHETIC words that will come out of her mouth if she is even brave enough to come clean.

Adding to my aching heart is not knowing, how long does a broken heart last? I am a committed man and just as I held on to her love while thousands of miles away with temptations looming nightly, I am committed to walking away from my love.

I am NOT asking for opinions on what I should do (she made that decision for me), but rather looking for the answer to my question so that I will know how I need to prepare myself for the days, weeks, and years to come!




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Comments for How Long Does a Broken Heart Last?

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1 to 2 yrs...
by: Anonymous

Short answer: 1 to 2 years for relationships this serious.

Some people say half as long as you were in the relationship for, but I don't buy that. Of course everyone's different and every relationship is different but from my own experience and those of the people that have been closest to me throughout my life it seems that 1 to 2 years is a good rule to go by.

That's not to say that you will be feeling this overwhelmingly abysmal inability to catch your breath feeling for 1 to 2 years. That should subside in a few weeks. But that is when the roller coaster really begins and you will have good days and bad days.

But like someone else said earlier in the comments section, it also comes down to them lasting as long as we want them to last. I agree with that to a certain extent but at the same time I don't think we can just make them go away because we want them to either.

Yet, a lot of what we call a broken heart is really just a temporary fu****d up part of our mind that we can't seem to shut off for very long. Dont dwell in this agonozing abode. Moreover, I think what the aforementioned person was trying to say was that the more we claim to this idea of something that never was or is never going to be again the harder we make it for ourselves. So we have to embrace reality, live in the moment and take it day-by-day. don't get caught up in the past, don't get caught up in the future.

If you fixate on either it's easy to get stuck in some lecherous limbo longing to live it over again only to realize that would ultimately bring you back to this painful place you now reside. don't dwell on the haggard remnants of the negative and don't indulge in the positive too much either. flashback fantasies to a more fantastical time can be a precarious endeavor. these gems from our past can quickly turn into shit in our laps when the realization that something so good either wasn't as good as we thought it was or turned into something so shity.

sorry
by: Anonymous

Sorry about what ur going through. Am going through a heart break too I wish I knew how to get over it because it's eating me up am praying God sets me free.and God helps u too overcome.
HEARTBREAKS
by: PATRICIA

FROM MY OWN EXPIRIENCE AND OPINION HEARTBREAKS LAST FOR AS LONG AS WE WANT THEM TO AND CUT THEY AS DEEP AS WE ALLOW THEM TO.ITS HARD GOING THROUGH A HEARTBREAK AND AS MUCH AS WE TRY HARD TO PRETEND AS IF WE DONT FEEL THE PAIN BUT TRUTH IS NOTHING BREAKS THE HEART AND WOUND THE SPIRIT AND STEALS JOY LIKE THE BETRAYAL FROM THE ONE YOU TRUSTED WITH YOUR LIFE.....THE ONE YOU TOOK INSULTS FOR,THE ONE YOU CHOSE OVER YOUR OWN FRIENDS......YOU MIGHT HEAL SOON,PROBABLY NEVER BUT YOU WILL LOVE AHGAIN AND THAT SOMEONE WILL HAVE ENOUGH LIFE AND TRUST FOR THE BOTH OF YOU........BROKENHEARTS CAN ONLY BE HEALED THROUGH GOD,PRAY ABOUT IT AND FIND YOUR VOICE AND IT SHALL BE WELL WITH YOU......WHEN YOU FIND SOMEONE NEW PLEASE DONT MAKE EM THE SACRIFICE FOR WHAT SHE DID TO YOU.....
Tough!
by: Lala Lovewine

It's tough! Iv'e been going thru it since 2006. Sorry!

Lala Lovewine
New Love for Broken heart
by: Anonymous

I think your broken heart will feel better when you find someone new to love.
Be Brave and Respect yourself
by: Anonymous

You definitely sound like an amazing man, it is obvious that she knows it because she has been with another man, yet she does not want to let you go, and trust me not even if you break up with her and ask her to stop seeing each other. A couple of months ago I met someone who was unbelievably amazing. The only problem is that he lives 600 miles away from me. He told me I was worth the effort. When we talked about starting a relationship he told me he had been married before to her highschool sweetheart. They decided to get married and after 3 years she cheated on him and decided to leave him. He had mentioned a friend a couple of times before, but he never mentioned it was his ex wife. I didn't want to be jealous or tell him to stop talking to her because I trusted him. He eventually saw that I was not feeling comfortable with them being friends because she used to call him and yell at him and be very entitled when they were on the phone. I told him I did not like that and he told me they had stopped talking. One day, my heart was telling me to look for something, like you, I went to his phone bill and I found hundreds of calls from this girl more than four times a day. Sometimes even for 89 minutes. Time that not even him and I would talk. I felt very sad and betrayed, he didn't cheat but he lied to me and even though I forgave him and gave him another chance to see if he can me honest with me, my heart just does not feel the same. I love him very much, but it makes me doubt everything we had. Every word he said, every story he told me. I had sent him a letter explaining why I was mad at him and how I will just give him one more chance, but something tells me to be brave and just let him go. As you said, he decided for both of us, not me. Good luck with your situation and I', pretty sure you will find the girl you deserve when you least expect it.
A little tip is this "clean breaks heal faster" so don't make the same mistake my boyfriend did, if you let her go, do it completely and don't hold back. It's just not fair for the next person you will meet, I speak from experience.
Keep your head up! - "don't let her change your view on love"
by: Anonymous

I must disagree, she obviously is not the one for you. Time will make it better and when you do meet the one!

You will realize that it was just a bruise not a break. You will always be who you are ( and you sound amazing) and it will hurt but not forever just until you reslize she is not worth the pain to have treated you the way she did.

We must be careful who we share our heart and bed with because we just don't know who they are also sharing with.

Just whatever you do, don't let her change your view on love too many women treat a good guy bad and change his outlook on relationships!
Mend a Broken Heart...
by: Anonymous

If you have ever broken a bone then you know that you will always have your days when you still feel the effects.

You may also favor the area you broke and you certainly will have memories of the experience.

However...

The broken bone and the incident helped to shape you in some way and it does help to make you, you!

You will forever favor your heart, but just as you got back on the playground or ball field after your broken bone, you CAN do the same for a broken heart.

To answer your question, a broken heart lasts FOREVER, but it is how you CHOOSE to live your life after breaking it!

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