I found out in December that my husband had been talking to a old girlfriend

I was married for 27 years to the love of my life. I found out in December that my husband had been talking to a old girlfriend and they were having an affair with her.


She also was married for 20 years. He moved out and now is living with his whore. I had his children and always was a good wife. I don't understand how he just stopped loving me.

He still wants to keep the physical part of our marriage going. I still love him and know he still loves me. This is all so confusing and painful. I don't know how to move on after this

Comments for I found out in December that my husband had been talking to a old girlfriend

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Move on
by: AJ

You'll never be able to trust him again so move on. He doesn't deserve you and you don't need him.

Calling her "his whore" and driving him out is not helpful
by: Anonymous

Speaking as someone who has been in your husband's position for a very long time understand what she is to him. A memory of youth and possibly a missed opportunity that he wishes had turned out differently.

Once you know that you can begin working on him. Start with yourself. If you need to lose weight do so. If you need to color your hair to roll back time do so. Get a facial. If your wardrobe has gotten frumpy update it.

You have history with him that she does not. Use it to your advantage. If he wants to maintain the physical relation with you then realize that he is giving you an enormous opportunity and that deep down he doesn't want to be gone from you. He just wants to feel young and desirable again.

Make yourself attractive to him and then flirt him like you did when you first dated. Don't give him too much at any given time but instead catch his attention again and make him end up desiring you as used to. He seeks youth. Give it to him but do so on your terms and make him work at it a little bit to make it more desirable.

Don't focus on the other woman at all. She is not the issue and besides she is going to be hurt very soon once he falls back in love with you.

Relate to forever to in pain
by: Anonymous

guys that cheat are total scum and have no reason!

No success
by: Anonymous

I agree...let him go and stop the physical attachment with him. He will continue to destroy your integrity & self respect if you allow him to. (I apologize for being so blunt) Don't let him pull you down with the chaos he's bringing on to himself. Perhaps in a way its making you feel good because somehow your getting your revenge since (what she doesn't know won't kill her) she after all did steal your husband. Think about it though, he will continue to come and go as he pleases as long as you allow him to, maybe not with just this other woman but any other woman that he may choose to have an affair with in the future. I am not saying that he will never change, all I'm getting at is he will not change from moving from 1 woman to another till he searches deep down to find out who he really is. Concentrate on yourself & on your personal growth. If he doesn't get his epiphany today or the next ten yrs., Whats important is that you got yours. Don't worry about the other woman either, they got off on the wrong foot, guess what? they aren't gonna have a "lived happily ever after" story. Someday he'll realize that she herself can't be trusted since after all, she did cheat on her husband too. He knows she's not worthy to begin with &maybe he's just waiting for her to screw up to leave her & then to fall into any woman's arms that catches him. He will feel guilty & having an affair will make his own head explode. Hold your ground & know that you can find your peace.

run
by: matt

get away from his cheating ass! you deserve better and there is a real man out there that wants and needs you! sex isnt love its only a priviledge!

I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

im going through the same thing i know how you feel i'v been married for 24 years

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