Is she cheating?

by George
(UK)

Hello

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and I thought everything was very good between us. Ok we sometimes had disagreements over tidying the house etc but that is pretty normal stuff that everyone will go through from time to time.

We had a baby a year ago and it is a wonderful experience for us. After the birth my wife lost lots of weight and was determined to do so. She is now slimmer and more attractive than even before she was pregnant- that is great...

However in the last few months I got a new job that has meant alot more hours and with the added pressure of looking after the baby it has meant that things have got very stressful at times. Then I noticed my wife was not properly talking to me which meant I was asking her if she was ok alot which she always replied 'fine' etc which is so frustrating when you know things are anything but.

She had told me I do not listen properly and also that we dont have proper conversations very often and I agreed and put this down to a busy time in our lives.

Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I read some of the things she had been discussing with her best friends on facebook. I was shocked with what I read- basically listing the things that are bad about me and saying things like 'just because we have sex I think everything is ok' I know I shouldn't have done this- it is because I felt insecure and needed reassurance - NOT because I didn't trust her- then I started to read notes from 'male friends' and she had got very friendly with someone on a training course so I begin to hear alarm bells.

I asked her if everything was ok again in the light of what I had read and she kept reassuring me everything was ok- she found out I had looked at her facebook page and we had a row and I was accused of not trusting her etc. The thing is if she had done the same it would not have bothered me because I have nothing to hide. She has now changed the passwords etc but we have 'drawn a line' under this and having discussed that I need to talk to her more we are now getting on very well.

The thing is I know that the opposite sex are extremely intelligent and through experience very clever at getting you off the scent so you think everything is ok. One thing I also read when she was mad at me was 'Perhaps I should have an affair- but certainly not with @@@@@ (facebook friend) as I think Simon is reading my emails!! Also she things I treat her as a possession and not as a person- something I am changing.

This all happened a few weeks ago and on the surface everything seems ok. She is off on a girly weekend tomorrow which will involve going out to restaurants and nightclubs.

I am not at peace and I need to know that everything is ok. I was hoping someone on here could help and let me know what your thoughts are on if she is cheating.

Many thanks