My husband cheated with a prostitute - "my head is spinning…"

My husband cheated with a prostitute


I have been with my husband for 7 years, and married for5 years. We have two kids together and they mean the world to me.

I usually get home late in the evenings and my husband gets home before me, a few days ago I got home early because I wasn’t feeling too well. When I got home, he wasn’t home but the tv, lights and other things were on which made me suspect that he was home and may have just ran out.

When I went into the bathroom, I saw the corner piece of a condom wrapper. My stomach got weak, but something told me to search the garbage can. When I did, I found a freshly used condom wrapped up in a ball of toilet paper.

My husband came home shortly after to find me in tears and I had the condom on the table, so he saw it immediately when he came in.

After staying quiet for a while, he admitted to having sex with a prostitute. He said that since we didn’t have sex like we used to, he thought that I wasn’t attracted to him anymore because I hadn’t touched him in over a month.

I agree that our sex life has fallen off, and I may have been oblivious to his needs but why did he have to go FU** a prostitute!!!

I feel that he crossed a line which may be a point of NO RETURN. Every time I look at him, I cringe with the thought of him inside of someone else.

He keeps on telling me how sorry he is… I don’t know what to do or where to go to get help with this. I don’t see myself ever trusting him again.

I haven’t been able to get the thoughts out of my head and I feel that if things don't go as he expects in the future he would do the same thing again.

I have been nothing but good to this man when it comes to respect and loyalty. I am so embarrassed to even admit that my husband cheated with a prostitute!

I don’t know if he is even sorry, or just sorry that he got caught….

Please…I would love to hear from someone…my head is spinning…

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Marriage and Trust - Here is my story
by: Sara

Hi

I am sorry to hear what happened to you. i am going through the same thing. we've been married for 10 years and have a kid.

Recently my husband came from the gym and i noticed a strong perfume smell. I asked him about it. but he just laughed. The next day when he was not around i checked his bank statements.

I found he had paid for a strip club and Ashely Madison site. When i asked him he said he just went once and watched strippers. But i knew he had a lap dance and after many questions he admitted he had a lap dance.

He said sorry to me and promised not to go again. but still i doubted him. Then i checked his external hard drive and found he had many email addressed. I logged in to each account.

I found out he had been sleeping with prostitutes. He said since our sex life hasn't been good he went to them to get satisfied. He said he was not satisfied with me. He said since we didn't make love much he went to get it from prostitues.

He said I was jelous and it was no big deal and he had been watching pornos also. He is the only sex partner i ever had. and the way he behave he doesn't seem to be a that kind of person.

He has been lying to me a lot. I said if you want me to forget these things then i want to go to a strip club and have sex with another man.

He agreed. he said if it is what you want i understand and then i opend some accounts and sent some requests. He helped me to open them too. When I got requests i showed them to him but in my heart I never wanted another man still except him.

I wanted to hurt him and make him feel how I felt but still he said he was frustrated and promised not to go. If I let him go once in a while he would appreciate it.

It was hopefully to make a change in the life. I asked for his account passwords and user names of adult accounts. He had made a lot. He said he closed them and i was keep searching men on this sites to see his responds.

He gave me some chances to go to men and strip clubs.he said he would take me. i forgave him but dont trust him even though he promised. I told him to tell everything he did and i allowed him to watch pornos If he needs a change so i could start trusting him and makeup my heart and mind.

So he confessed everything and after that our relationship went well for one week. I told him i don't want to go to another man to be equal with you and I cant let down my values going to those places.

He said it happened to him too at first and by the way I was his first and only girlfriend. Later I found out he hadn't closed those accounts. He said he didnt because it was anonymous and he had no credits.

He just abandoned them and we had a argument over that and he said he promised me he would not go and why bring it up again.

I told him i trusted hm but still he lied about accounts and after a long argument he said he is fedup living with me and he would continue going to see prostitutes.

If i want I can live with him or leave him since I made some account he accused me of cheating. He says making accounts and sleeping with them has no difference.

He doesent understand my feelings at all. I feel I've been living with a stranger for 10 years.he says he was hiding all his sexual feeling all the time.

He feels relieved now because he went with prostitutes and he says he enjoys lap dances and prostitutes and eating from outside is a change for his life.

My husband is cheating with escorts too
by: Christina

with my husband since I was 17, now 35. uncovered he has been calling and meeting up with multiple escorts. I went as far as to call them and ask. One described his tattoos, his body markings, everything. He still denies it.He claims she is lying. He refuses to come clean and I feel like I need to know what went wrong. I am the one that always wants sex but hes too tired (apparently from being with hookers). I have a 6 year old daughter and don't want her growing up thinking this life is ok. My plans are to get checked by a dr and file for divorce asap. The hardest part is trying to understand why, why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this after 18 years of being loyal to him. It sickens me that he doesn't have the balls to come clean.

Forgiveness.
by: Joseph Athian

I think you should forgive. But remember that you can keep your husband by giving him all his needs.

get a divorce fast
by: Anonymous

get a divorce fast do u know how many times this has happened when he didn't use a condom he could bring something home to u and your children

i cannot blame him
by: Anonymous

you had not touched him in over a month?
then how can you expect him not to go to other woman?

My story - "Cheating always destroys someone in the end"
by: Anonymous

i have a buddy of mine who cheated on his wife (im not married myself). personally, i stayed out of it the whole time, even though i knew what was going on.

The reason he told me (im his best friend, he wouldn't lie to me) why he cheated was because he was tired of fighting with his wife all the time.

I think that he just found this girl more attractive sexually, and he just wanted to be with her.

He would say this girl wore thongs, and his wife wore granny panties, and this girl was sexier in bed, and his wife wasn't really turning him on.

Makes sense i guess, but i did suggest that he try to spice up his sex life with his wife after i found out he was cheating.

He told me he did, but she wasn't really into it at all. Truthfully, i hope his wife doesn't blame me, because i never encouraged it. True i didn't try to stop it, but my best friend is 15 years older than me, so there isn't much i can do.

I don't know, maybe some people cheat because they are truly unsure about themselves in reality.

I don't really get involved with relationships, so therefore i don't cheat. I have a girlfriend now. I don't cheat of course, and i highly doubt she does either.

Cheating always destroys someone in the end I suppose.

How can he trust you?
by: shelli_k18

I read this upset and this hurt you feel. I'm 37 mwm who's been divorced, and NOT a player, but I've been with women and seen a mistress on the side. I've tried lying, and I have been upfront, I've hidden my feelings, I've even paraded around, but the truth is nothing will make you okay with him with another woman. Some women are ok with it, but your not alone thinking you are.

I took counselling, I've done everything to try to attract my wife's attention. But you focused on not being able to trust him, AND visualizing him inside another woman. If you said no to him, if you were not open, how can you say you were kind and gave him everything? You marriage was lacking and he had needs. If you to didn't talk about it, than you fall into the same fate as well over 60% of all marriages, lack of communication.

I cheated on my wife, and she left me. But I'm not a horrible person. Nor is she. I didn't fall out of love, and she can't accept me for who I am. She knew I was unhappy and made her choices based on her needs only. So I cried alone for 2 weeks, then got another girlfriend. We had 2 kids together, but I'm the evil one because I want one day a week towards us. That I found another persons attention soothing, interesting, and beneficial. It wasn't to hurt her, it wasn't to ignore my kids.

Yes, this happened more than once in the last 6 months of our marriage, but way less than the once a week attention that wasn't given to me by my spouse, despite my attempts and the therapists.

Being promised your life together is a very special thing. But having lost that promise, feeling ignored and not worth their time. Being made the villain. I know he's sorry for hurting you, I know he felt guilt cheating on you, but like the prostitute said, he had enough time by himself, alone without you, to quantify a reason for cheating. It's his fault for not telling you his feelings. It's your fault for ignoring them. It's my fault for writing this. I think I'm in the wrong forum...

He is sorry he got caught
by: Anonymous

If you hadn't have caught him, he probably would never have told you. Like the other anonymous said, if it was in your home it has most likely happened many times before. You don't do that with a random.

Hello99, thank you for your insight. It was very illuminating. I agreed with everything you wrote with one exception; maybe I read it wrong, but I got the impression from your last line that you are accepting responsibility for what these stupid married men do?

If I did indeed interpret that correctly, you are one of the last people who should accept responsibility. The blame lies squarely on the man's shoulders. They were going to cheat anyways, if it wasn't you it would have been someone else.

My husband cheated with a prostitute - "my head is spinning?"
by: hello99

I am a former escort. If anyone attacks me I will rip you to pieces because you have no idea what I was going through at the time and it's none of your business.
Over 90% of my customers were married. Very few expressed guilt. I would always ask if they had guilt and they always had a reason to justify their behavior, just like your husband did when he said you weren't meeting his needs.
He's only sorry because he got caught. He has definetly cheated on you in the past, most likely in the marital bed where he would later make love to you as if nothing ever happened.
In regards to there being no emotional attachment to escorts...this isn't always true. I had many clients who would call me on a regular basis, acting like my "friend", etc etc. A weird kind of business type relationship. Once the guy finds a girl he likes (kind of like a girlfriend/mistress) he tends to stick with her. There is no emotional attachment when you've only seen him once and he's constantly seeing different girls. If he's seeing you regularly it's a completely different situation because you are intimately connected and he likes/looks forward to being with you. Women require an emotional connection with a man before she'll sleep with him, men seem to make that emotional connection with you after he sleeps with you.
I've had many long conversations with many many many cheaters. Don't fool yourself into thinking he's sorry.
I'm willing to answer questions but like I said, if anyone even considers blaming the women in my profession you will not be happy. I'm accepting any responsibility for a man's deliberate choice/decision to call an escort service and hire a girl.

I'm so sorry - "He's probably already addicted to the lying, cheating, and compartmentalizing.."
by: Anonymous

But if he had her at your home, it wasn't the first time. For a man to get that comfortable with a woman to let her know where he and his family live, not to mention the fear of being blackmailed by a prostitute who would know he's married after seeing your home, he is experienced with the game.

A MAN WOULD NEVER DO THIS WITH A PROSTITUTE HIS FIRST TIME MEETING HER..OR SECOND...OR THIRD TIME...DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF.

He is scum. He's probably already addicted to the lying, cheating, and compartmentalizing.

Now it's time for you to decide. You can take the easy way out or find a relationship with the good kind of love. Nothing easy is worth doing. Good luck

I Understand.....But....
by: Anonymous

While I completely understand your shock and trauma, keep in mind it could have been worse since he had no emotional attachment to her. I my case my spouse cheated just for "attention".

Her pathetic excuse was that it was because I did not call her enough on the phone while I was at work, give me a f-ing break.

Yet I am still trying to work it out. I will admit that I still feel like I have one foot out the door so to say all of the time, and that in reality it would not take much for me to give her the boot forever.

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