Paranoid or Reasonable Doubt?

by That Guy
(Northwest)

This isn't a long story, nor is it very dramatic or exciting. I'm a 20 year old male from the Northwest who is worried about his current relationship.


I've been engaged for almost a year and half to a woman I've been dating for 6 years. As with most relationships, it started out strong, full of excitement and anticipation.

Religion seems to be fading nowadays, but it is something she and I both feel strongly for. We have not had sex together, and as far as I know, she has not had sex with anyone else (I also am still a virgin). We both still believe (in our relationship) that waiting until marriage is still sacred, and should only be shared between those we love. Having said that, our intimacy together was limited, but nonetheless passionate. As with many relationships, our passion and intimacy faded a little bit, but we were still interested occasionally, when work and school weren't taking too much of our time.

As we are hoping to start our careers soon (myself a Police Officer, her a psychiatrist), she has just received an internship at a local Family Counseling center in the city. She's met the man once previous to sending him emails about an internship with him. Before an actual interview or application, she was already hired (the latter took place about a week and a half later).

Ever since she has been going to the internship, she has all of a sudden changed her style, and demeanor. She has started wearing skirts, which she never wore before because she claimed they didn't compliment her body. She's started wearing more perfume, which she stopped wearing about 2-3 months ago. Not only is she wearing skirts, but she'll wear a skirt to the internship, but she'll bring a change of pants for her other work. Her actions towards me are now limited to only "cuddling", or being together. She is no longer excited, or wanting to do anything intimate. She's willing, but not wanting; whereas before, she would normally want to do SOMEthing, at least once a week or so. Now it's getting to a point where she doesn't even want to kiss.

Her work hours are now going to the extreme. She works for retail, and has to put her freight out on the floor at nights, after the store closes. Usually, it went from 9 PM - 11 PM or 9 PM - 1 AM. After the acceptance of the internship, she's all of a sudden working from 5 PM until 5 AM. She'll call and say how tired she is, and how sore she is from work.

I'm trying my absolute hardest to convince myself there's a logical and reasonable explanation for all of this, but there's a twinge in the back of my mind attempting to break me, making me think she's cheating. I'm worried, sick, angry, and frustrated, especially since there is no way to prove what's going on, if anything.

I have not met her knew co-worker, but just the process by which he's hired her is beyond unprofessional, beyond business-like, and has crossed over into the realm of "Wow, that was kinda quick, wasn't it?".

If you have any advice, criticism of my behavior, actions (or lack thereof), or thoughts, please, share them..

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