Player -"seemed happy with me, and then became quite boastful to me that he was seeing a 'lovely girl'

by Deanna

I have been with a guy for 3 years, but we do not live together. He does not want to.

He has had a couple of divorces,and has kids, who live near but not with him. He owns a place abroad (where he comes from, and I have spent time with him there, whenever he wanted me to).

For the first 2 years, he seemed happy with me, and then became quite boastful to me that he was seeing a 'lovely girl'....and she was not the only one either...

He is 59 and I am 50, and he knows I am insecure about my age. He has a complex lifestyle, and shares a house with tenants, but also shares a place with a woman, whom he claims is a 'house mate'.

He has continued to want to see me for sex and invites me, but shows little affection, and makes it clear that we must not be seen together (complete change from before).

The other week he invited me, and as usual and as per his instructions, I entered his room via the back of the house as I always have to at his instruction.

There was a sexy gown hanging next to his. He made no attempt to explain who it belonged to, and seemed to enjoy the intrigue of my wondering ... I made no comment. Then he asked me to try it on, and said that it looked better on me than on 'other people'.

He also indicated that he had held a birthday party at the house, and many people came. He had not told me beforehand.

Similarly, with his birthday, he has a party, to which I am not invited. He makes it clear that we cannot be together for even an hour on my birthday either.

So we never have had a celebration on either of our birthdays, and I know that he enjoys making me feel totally worthless. And I put up with it.

When we are abroad,he behaves as if I have some status, and acknowledges that I am with him. When we are here, it is a different story.

I am only allowed to see him on very specific days of the week, and never on a Friday or Saturday. We meet up, maximum 3 times a week, but usually twice.

He used to be very flattering towards me, but now is insulting, and critical. He puts down any attempt I make to improve. I know it is screaming loud at me from every line, that I ought to get out and as fast as possible.

I am really struggling with this. I know I have to make myself do it, regardless of the feelings of abandonment. I must face reality.

I have little support, and have not many friends, but am trying to make some now.

Has anyone had a similar relationship and put up with it, for whatever reason?