Sugestion/Advise related to Divorce/compromise during later stage of married life?
by Ramesh Kapur
I am male 60 yrs ,wife 56 yrs.We married in 1970.It was arranged marriage of our liking. We had first issue in 1972.& then an abortion in 72 end. In1975 she had a stillbirth.
In 1976 we moved to an apartment, where she came in contact with a boy (landlord?s son) of 17 yrs.she was 26 at that time, I treated him as teenboy just like younger brother.they became bro-sis and this relation continued for 17 years ,had Rakhi,teeka Diwali pooja (Indian Festivals)and all till 1993. I never found any doubt in it. .He got married in 1986 but relationship continued.
Once in 1990 I saw the boy bent over my wife and her arms around her back, I asked hey what?s this going on???.She said that his elder bro thrashed for some losses in business, so I was just making him comfort. I trusted her statement but I went to his business place n kicked him left n right as I was in high temper. He apologized.
On last diwali (2008) day I came to know thru reliable sources that they were enjoying sex since 1977 till they broke in 1993 after marriage of my eldest daughter. Since 1993 till 2009 they never saw or contacted each other.
My daughter had a fight with her mom n she said ?I know what relation u was having with ur so called brother, I saw with my own eyes in compromising stage in 1979,82 and in 1988. It was my mistake I should have told dad. Some how I came to know all truth.
In 1978 she delivered a baby girl who resembles with elder sis and in 1984 a baby boy. The body structure, eyes, hairs are similar to that boy.
I asked my wife about truth but she denied, but when I told her that I may go for DNA test of boy respect to me ,she realized that I know every thigh, she surrendered and felt sorry for all cheatings since marriage till date she did. But still she did'nt agree that she was having sexual relations with that boy
I have been betrayed for years n years, I am not in a position to adjust myself.
What should I do?(1) Divorce her, or (2) Ignore her totally or remain normal as she realized sorry. All three kids know every thigh n on my side.One thingh i missed here that during last 39 yers she never showed interest doing sex with me though i used to ask time n again n she performed unwillingly.