What to believe?

I work out of town 3-4 days a week and my wife started a new job almost a year ago. She was trained by one of her managers and they became friends.


For the first few months they worked side by side in the office for 8 hours a day. When she first started working together she always talked about how me and him are a lot alike and like the same things, and she said things like, "me and her co-worker", would be good friends.

It just so happens he is married to a girl I know from high school who wasn't very friendly toward me.

My wife mentioned all of us getting together once and I said I'd rather not because I really didn't get along with his wife.

Not much was ever mentioned after that until I picked my wife up for lunch about 6 months later. She had to work on Sat one week and she told me that morning that she was getting up early to meet him for coffie about an hour before they had to be at work.

"Okay" I said, "call me in a bit". Although I thought, "WOW" she won't ever get up early to do anything with me! A couple months later I was in town and picked her up for lunch.

We were eating lunch and looking at pics in her phone when she got a text that said "where r u". it was from a number not saved in her phone and I asked who it was. She said it was "that guy".

I said, "why is he asking you where you where are", and she said "I have no idea". She texted back that she was eating lunch and he replied, "I was wating to go with you".

she tried to come up with an excuse saying he ment to a meeting they were going to have later in the day, but the he texted back he was waiting to go to lunch with her and he was leaving now.

They have different work hours and there lunch hours are 4 hours apart. When she first started working there she had his number saved in her phone but she said she deleted it because she saved it wrong.

Although I didn't believe her I let it go. For the past couple of months I was noticing little things. She used to never drink coffie.

She said she hated it. Now she was getting coffee every morning and buying coffie to take to work for him too.

It also seemed she was being very over affectionate to me. More so than any other time in our 6 years together.

It almost seemed forced like she was trying too hard. Not long after I saw his number in her phone call list where they had talked a couple of times one night.

She doesb't get off until 8pm so it was kind of late. She said he had called about some work issues since he was one of her bosses.

Didn't know what to think about her supervisor calling her at home but let it go. Another month or so passed and I was working out of town and had forwarded her an email to read to an email account we both have access to.

It was really funny do I was expecting her to call but she never did. It was almost time for her to get off work so I decided to see if she had even read it yet.

When I logged on I saw an email from him. It read, "I don't think it's a good idea for me to come up there tonight because another one of the bosses was wroking late".

She replied, "I'll text you". I called her to ask about it and she said he was just concerned about what happened when I saw the text about lunch a while back.

I told her I didn't believe her and if there was anything going on just tell me. She said nothing was going on at all and that they were just friends.

Because of all this I created an online account so I could check our cell phone activity. I found that they had been texting back nad forth from the time she got out of bed in the morning until the time she went to bed at night for more than 2 months!

They work just down the hall from one another and they still texted all day at work. Keep in mind he is one of her bosses.

She said all the texts were about work stuff or books, religion, etc...all interests they have in common seeing as how they were both english literature majors in college.

I also found in the phone records that they had talked on the phone earlir in the week around midnight in between all the texts.

She said that it was about a cd he had let her borrow, which consisted of all romantic sounding music.

She still says nothing ever happened and insists there was nothing other than friendship. She now says she has stopped all comunication with him and realizes she was putting our marriage on the line over something stupid.

I still don't know what to think and I'm also having a very hard time believing all of it!

Comments for What to believe?

Click here to add your own comments

I agree..
by: Anonymous

I think you know the answer as to "what to believe?

It may take sometime to face the reality of what your ultimate decision may need to be.

I don't know how your financial situation is, you may consider a private investigator to get the hard evidence if that is what you need to see to help you in making any kind of hard decisions.

Good luck,because whatever your decision is it will not be easy. You will need support from your "true" loved ones.

Wishing you a all the best...I really hope it works out the best way possible for you to be completely happy in the long run.




Duck Walk
by: LaDonna

If it looks like a duck
sounds like a duck
walks like a duck
then it is a duck.

Sounds like to me it is staring you right in the face and you do not want to believe it. However, there is that little nag that is saying hello!!....Been there and believe me your intuition is right on the mark.

The lunch thing sounded like he thought he had every right to expect her to have lunch with him. I have guy friends (some are bosses), we go out have a good time but we do not expect the other one to account to the other one.

I'd keep watching her and check up on her and keep your eyes and ears open. May want to have a friend/family member just drive by the house and see if she is home or not since you are out of town alot.

Good luck.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Signs of Cheating Spouse Forum.