Did my wife visit her ex-boyfriend?

Please read the following true story and kindly give your opinion at the end.


I’m a British man working and living in the Middle East with my family. Recently I was on the internet and my Filipina wife had forgotten to log off her email account when she left the computer.

The page was at the ‘Sent’ mail folder and I noticed that my wife’s ‘Sent’ emails had gone to just one recipient and it was a Filipino man.

Curiosity got the better of me and I opened one of her emails to this guy. I was shocked to realise that my wife and the Filipino had known each other intimately before.

I opened the rest of her ‘Sent’ emails and confirmed it. My wife had written to him how much she really missed him, loved him and she said she would send him pictures of herself that would give him a hard-on etc. and she’d always signed out ‘love you’, ‘miss you’ or ‘xxx’.

They had also sent SMS messages and chatted on Yahoo! Messenger and made international telephone calls. My wife bought a new webcam but the Filipino guy’s connection was too slow and they only connected once via webcam.

I read an email where my wife even called him on our wedding anniversary and cried and told him how much she really missed and loved him. On our very own wedding anniversary….

The guy wrote and asked her to visit him where he works in Pasir Gudang, near Johor Bahru, in Malaysia if she ever got the chance to take a trip abroad. (It is a 2 hour flight from Manila to Singapore, then a one hour journey by road over the Singapore - Malaysia causeway to Johor Bahru.)

I told my wife that she hadn’t signed out her account and I’d got curious about who she was writing to so read all her emails.

I asked her about the emails and wanted to know who the man was. She was very defensive and said that it was a stranger, a nice guy who she had met at Bangkok airport who assisted her by taking on some of her excess baggage, on a flight to Manila.

I did not believe her though, as I know my wife would not send sexy photos of herself to a stranger who she’d just met at an airport.

After changing her story many times, I knew that she was lying. I read the emails again and realised that the guy worked for a company I knew in Pasir Gudang, Malaysia.

I called the company and got to talk to the man and confronted him as to why he was sending secret emails to my wife, a married woman.

He confessed that he knew my wife long before she had got married, when they had both worked in Johor Bahru. (They were actually boyfriend and girlfriend in Malaysia, back in 1987. As it happens, the guy had actually taken the virginity of my wife.) By coincidence, he was now back working in the same region where he and my wife were dating 21 years ago.

He swore that he had not seen her for 21 years, when he had to leave Malaysia to take a new job in Indonesia. He understood that I was rightly angry that my wife was writing to him behind my back and promised to stop all correspondence with her. He gave me his word of honour.

I told my wife that I had spoken to the guy who she’d been emailing on the phone and discovered that he was her Filipino ex-boyfriend and he had aplogised, promising never to contact her again. (I knew that my wife had a Filipino lover 21 years before.) She admitted all what he had told me was true and begged forgiveness. I asked her how they had got in touch after such a long period of time, and she said that she had recently met an acquaintance from the old days in Malaysia at a party in Philippines and got her ex-boyfriend’s telephone number, called him and they’d exchanged email addresses.

She apologised and promised to stop all correspondence immediately and to never contact her ex-boyfriend again. I was raging mad and it almost ended our marriage but I loved her so I forgave her.

Several months later, I had to stay in the Middle East when my wife was going home to Philippines with the kids for Xmas holidays. She told me that a Filipina lady friend, Tess, who was married to my Scottish friend, but separated, had been repeatedly asking her to go on a trip to Singapore.

She said Tess had asked her to ask me for permission. I sent Tess a text message saying, ‘Don’t be ridiculous, my wife doesn’t need to ask for my permission to go to Singapore with you. Of course she can go.’ Tess didn’t reply to my message.

After my wife and kids had flown to Philippines, I called home a few days later. Our daughter told me that her mother had gone to Singapore. I tried to call my wife to see if she was okay, had enough money etc. but I could not get through. I had Tess’s number and sent her a text message asking her to tell my wife I was trying to call her.

I joked to Tess that maybe she could find a new boyfriend in Singapore. Tess sent a reply saying that she was not in Singapore.

She had to stay in Manila as her sister was in hospital. She also told me that she was not interested in finding a new boyfriend and that it was never her intention to go to Singapore at all, it was my wife’s plan. She told me that my wife had even offered to pay for her air fare.

So I’d found out that Tess had never wanted to go to Singapore in the first place although my wife had said Tess had always been asking her to accompany her there.

So obviously my wife had used Tess as her excuse to go there and possibly as an alibi, if I wondered what my wife could be getting up to. I started to wonder, why was my wife lying? I suspected that my wife could be planning to visit her ex-boyfriend, who’d asked her to visit him if ever she got the chance. Her ex-boyfriend was situated just one hour’s drive from Singapore.

Still unable to contact my wife, I called home and my daughter told me that her mum had since left Singapore and gone to her ex-employer’s house in Malaysia.

It was about 20 minutes drive from where her ex-boyfriend worked. I called my wife many times and eventually managed to talk to her for about a minute but it was a bad connection. I knew that she was at her former employer’s house, whom I’d met 3 years earlier, because I spoke to him.

I wanted to ask my wife what was going on, why had she planned this trip all along and pretended that it was her friend Tess who’d asked her to go to Singapore, even offering to pay Tess’s air fare? But I didn’t get a chance to ask her what Tess had told me.

For the next three days, I was calling my wife 75 times a day but her phone was always frustratingly disconnected. In desperation, I sent her an email saying that she had connived to deceive him about the whole trip and accused her of following up on her ex-boyfriend’s request to visit him there in Malaysia. I slandered her and her ex-boyfriend terribly, calling them a scheming pair of Filipinos etc. etc. etc. and much worse.

I wrote that I’d send copies of their secret emails to all of her family and friends and I’d divorce her. I also cc’d the ex-boyfriend in the email. I had his mobile number from their emails before and tried to call him numerous times but although his phone was ringing, he would not answer it.

I sent him very strong accusatory text messages, implying that he and my wife were meeting in secret. He replied asking who was sending the messages and I told him he knew fine well it was his ex-girlfriend’s husband.

He denied all wrongdoing and said he’d not seen or heard from my wife and had kept his promise never to contact her.

The following day, my wife finally called me in a panic. She’d read my email accusing them of meeting in secret and denied it, pleading innocence.

She told me never to dare accuse her of meeting her ex-boyfriend as she was staying with her former employer and her conscience was clear. She saw that I’d included her ex-boyfriend in the email and asked me to send him a text message apologising for wrongly accusing him of being with her.

I had no hard evidence, only circumstantial evidence, but I strongly suspected that my wife had gone to meet him behind my back for various reasons.

1. She concocted a bunch of lies about her friend asking her to go to Singapore when it was her who planned the trip all along and she’d tried to frame her friend as the organiser of the trip.

2. She was so desperate for her friend to go to Singapore (as her own reason for going), she even offered to pay her friend’s air fare.

3. She could use her ex-boss as an alibi. (Of course, I was not going to call her ex-boss and ask him for a breakdown of her every movement.)

4. I could not contact her for three days. (She’d said her mobile battery was low therefore she could not reply to messages or answer calls and she didn’t have a charger. I told her that I didn’t believe her.)

In the absence of solid proof, I sent her ex-boyfriend a text message apologising for accusing him. I explained all the reasons for doubting my wife and he replied that he fully understood why I suspected her and he accepted my apology.

Which only made me suspect them all the more. Why would a person who has been wrongly accused of committing adultery with another man’s wife and very strongly verbally abused accept an apology, especially if he had done nothing wrong? He would normally have been affronted….

Comments for Did my wife visit her ex-boyfriend?

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kick her ass
by: Richard

hi, my dear friend am married Filipino too and how long it took we are marrying to them ,they are lairs and have eye on their ex Filipino boy friend . they are sick and have no values. yes she visited her boy friend and she fu**d. kick her ass

DONT KEEP HERE
by: Anonymous

i agree with you but there are a good ones left their. i married Philippine too and stay in Philippine three months a year to care for my business . in the city where i live many girls had a Americans husband and the poor gays let them to stay in Philippine and maintain them with monthly allowance range from php20,000- php40,000 . this amount is a lot for my city and the girls all f*ck a round with other Philippino boy friends and spend the money on them.i would like to tell my other friends "foreigner husband" PLEASE STOP SENDING MONEY TO THESE DOGS. THEY SIMPLY F**KING PROSTITUTES . BE CAREFUL . IF AM YOU THROUGH THE DOG OUT.SORRY YOUR WIFE DOES NOT GOT ANY VALUES SO F**K HER OUT. My heart go for you and i pray God will help you to change the dog.

ALL WOMEN(RACES) CHEAT
by: Anonymous

I think you know what she is doing. You here it in there voice you see it in there eyes. But we fall for the tears. The hot sex when you catch them with there hand in the cookie jar. That the sex where anythings go's. But we know inside that nothing has changed.We dont want to get back on the dating scene. getting to know someone all over again. So really we're not so much in love as we are use to them.

Are you joking?
by: Jace Australia

Are you joking,

I have traveled all over south east Asia I have met many many women from all walks of life.

Of all Asian woman in the entire world Phillipinos are the worst, they are the absoute junk food equivalent to the Asian woman industry.

Her ex may not have been involved in any way, but after concocting a story such as hers I garantee you some one was in her up to there balls.

Forgive the crassness but I call a spade a spade.

Jace Australia

It's a big problem
by: Anonymous

I feel for you dude. I married a Filipina too last year and after we were married a few months she actually admitted to me she had cheated on me with a guy from another village and he was also the guy who fathered the baby she told me was mine. She told me she told me cuz she was afraid I'd hear it from other people. It was hard but I forgave her what else could I do? If I stayed angry she would turn violently angry herself and destructive. I asked her if everyone in her close village knew and she said no. Now I found out he was not from elsewhere but her neighbor right in the midst of the village. So everyone knew and why I'm surprised I don't know cuz she always told me how many of her friends from the village were scamming foreigners. She used to say she could never do that to me. With her she always tells me something out of the blue that leaves me feeling sick. She said she briefly kissed another man after she cried during a phone call we had when she was still in the Philippines. Next day she said it was at a videoke bar. I asked her to clarify and she dressed in slutty clothes and said she was going to go fuck somebody. Dude, I cheated on her, too, before we were married, so I'm not going to say I'm a victim. But, I did not do this in front of my family and friends as she did, and let her walk around clueless like an ass hole. She was taking rides from her baby daddy to get money from me from western union. She said the baby was mine, so I asked her mom and mom's friends if they heard our exciting news when I saw them, I remember. She called me the night she lost the baby, actually a homemade abortion, and I felt so bad for leaving her there pregnant, and she asked me for money to go to the doctor the next day to take care of the rest of the abortion. The dude she kissed at the videoke bar I was seated next to at dinner last year with my wife on my other side and didn't know a fucking thing, he and I drank like good buddies.

Filipino men are sleazy fuckers who will fuck your girlfriend or wife and they don't hesitate to try. Filipinas are horny sluts that cannot say no to an offer of cock and if u try to reason with them they will blame you and they don't care. I want out of this thing but they can manipulate and make u feel so sorry for them, dude your wife is obviously lying to you and you know she is cheating on you. What you do is your decision, but I wish you the best.

Fu*k her good then dump the ugly filipina
by: Ice

Mate fu*k her good take a hidden cam cover ur face then distribute the copy to her ex prove ur better than the monkey. GOOD LUCKP

Get a divorce now
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry your wife has lied and broken your wedding vows. It's very clear that your wife is cheating on you emotionally and possibly physically too. It's best that you pack all your belongings, move out and proceed with the divorce. She has lied to you in the past and will continue to lie. It's never okay to contact ex boyfriends or ex girlfriends while married.

Dont say all filipina's are whore..
by: Anonymous

In this world no one is perpect,,,english,rusian,asian,amirican women they can be a whore but it depends of u guys to control or handle ur women pls... dont say that only filipina's whore...

filipino whores cost 10 us more dependable
by: Anonymous

these filipino woman are ruthless and will cheat there foreign husbands get what they want i been seperated my filipino wife two years and we have dauter she uses me get my money excuses my dauter getwhat she wants i had another filipino girl friend avirgin shesaid she get drunk not remember guy taking her virginity there bunch cheating sluts would not trust one of them ever again ruthless get what they want i miss my dauter thats it

Dump Her NOW!!!
by: Anonymous

Hey even if there is a glimmer of doubt, she is still dishonest to the max, which = NO TRUST POSSIBLE, now remember any relationship is based on trust, so get out now, or gather evidence by hiring a PI, putting a logger on her PC etc, then get out.

Cute wife.
by: Anonymous

You didn't mention your wife?s name. I also work in Pasir Gudang and I recon that I've screwed most the available Filipinas around here.

Can you ask her if she ever met Steve?

A sure thing
by: Anonymous

If you want to bet on a sure thing. You must pack all the luggage in the trunk of the car. If your wife assists you in making everything fit, you will be a happy husband. If she resists, someone else is working in your garden.

Dont Worry
by: Anonymous

Dear,

if u r true then there is no need to worry,
its ur past so think about future of u & UR childrens.Go ahead its not necessary that all womens are like same.Trust on them.

Best wishes for ur future.

ABUSIVE WIFE
by: Anonymous

YOU LOVE HER BUT SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU..DON'T BE A FOOL LEAVE HER..BEFORE YOU TURN INTO AN ANIMAL..

Mate.....shes lying
by: Anonymous

I have been in a similar situation. Where I wanted to believe the woman i felt so strongly for. She was Indonesian and butter wouldnt melt in her mouth.
She seduced me into leaving my family (yes i dont plead innocence), promising to marry her and give her a family.
All the while she was sleeping with a mate of mine, had at least one other guy on the backburner and said that her relationship with her own husband was only platonic. And honestly you would have said this person was the most genuine trustworthy person if you had ever met her. She left a trail of havoc in her wake, many ruined lives and feelings that can never be fully healed. And she continues to act the innocent angel.
DO NOT trust any Asian woman who has lived there most of her life regarding sexual relationships. They just cant help it. This may sound extreme but you will learn sooner or later that they are the worlds perfect liers. Asian men dont trust their women and neither should any man trust them. They WILL make your life hell....in the end. WAKEUP!!!

let the bitch go dude
by: Anonymous

Honestly Speaking my friend...i have to say u r such a fool and cockeyed man.sorry for saying that.but its hard for me to accept this disrespecting for a man.

Your wife is such an unfaithfull woman and she does't deserve to be a mother and also a wife for you.

She deserves that motherfucker boyfriend and nothing else. Spend ur life time for a person who deserve u dude.don't be blind.take this screwed up tooth out and throw it away. Take the children and choose someone to give them real love.someone who deserves to be a mother.
don't waste ur life...its too short

Let her go

Ha Ha
by: peter

My friend i feel sorry for you. Sure she cheated and they all do it all the time. Ever wondered why women committed to a relationship spend two or more hours to make themselves beautifull, every morning, knowing they are not spending the day with their partner ?. when they talk of the kids you will never hear that the kid looks like the husband it is always like the father. Ha Ha women are the worst and the cleverest cheaters. that is why it is so easy for us men to cheat with them.

Probably true
by: Bill

I would say that your wife did use this time to see her ex boyfriend. If they had this dirty correspondence going before then they pro had a real good time together.

My wife also used a trip of hers to stop and see an old boyfriend. She went from Salt Lake City to Portland. I

t is about a 12 hour drive. I called when I thought she would be there. I didn't get ahold of her until several hours later.

Apparently she had stopped at a coffee shop to meet Dennis. After driving 12 hours? I knew it was more than a chatty visit.

I eventually found out he seduced back to his place.

Feel free to contact me at fingbill1@yahoo.com

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