Hello, my name is Jeff Im a 37 yr old male.
Been in a relationship with partner for 11yrs.(defacto/unmarried).
We have a 5yr old daughter.
A couple of years ago, she started going to after work drinks, whilst I stayed at home with our then 2yr old daughter.

She is an electrician, in a male dominated workplace.

I love her dearly, the mother of my child, soul mate etc.
Eventually my wife.

I didnt want to seem overbearing & jealous, so encouraged her to go to after work celebrations, to visit work colleagues on her days off without the child & myself.
(trusting, dumb me ha?).

When she arrived home, she always said there were 4 or more work friends at the venue of celebrations.
(started off that way with many, ended up with one, "looking after her".)
Offer of a lift or walk to the train station!

I thought it was great that she got out & enjoyed herself.
After bringing our daughter into the world, I thought she deserved to go out & party a bit.
(dumb again, I realise now, that men & women cant party together without sexual happenings.Too late!!)

She'd arrive home in the early hours of the morning, heavily intoxicated(a mess)& dropped off by a work "friend".

Its funny every sign "she's cheating on you" tab was there.

Got to the stage, every Friday & sometimes Saturday nights she was out, some unknown work colleague's birthday or send off, social club excuse.

I started looking at her facebook which she hadnt signed out of thankfully.

The evidence was there, but not enough to convict her.
It wouldve only made them more secret had I interviened @ that point.

It clearly pointed out she was meeting just one "Married" work friend, she was "too chicken" to ask for another meeting, he replied the same.......then it reignited their online flirt to arrange "another meeting".

He dissapeared for a while & I thought it fizzled/or he found another hole to put his penis in & thought she'd decided/settled on me, instead of him.

I occassionally checked her "archived messages", she always hid fresh conversations with him in archives. I was happy there was no sign of him or anything sinister for a while.

NO, eventually he popped up again-wanting a catchup & she was just as enthusiastic.Which sadenned me greatly, as life was going well for us, new home etc.

I kept watching, along with conversations with other work colleagues, getting info on work drink locations, numbers & names, outcomes & occassionally dropping questions by her to test truth.


Her appearance was going back to what she used to be-
Pretty & sensational & out the door to another penis or two!
Hair, nails, dressing up, instead of usual industrial uniform, for work????-all in the "she's cheating on you" tab......
dumb me just thought she looked nice & encouraged it......"how do I look"? "You look great!!" "ok seeya" "have fun & take care!"

Her moods were changing towards me & our daughter.
She would ask me a question, shoot down my answer & call me "mr know-it-all", "mr expert".
There was nothing I could say or do that didnt get a negative/spiteful response.
Really overeacting with our daughter aswell.

She was blogging, painting a terrible picture of me to her friends online. Im no saint, Ive had my demons with the alcohol, "threatened" to hit her a few times-but I didnt derserve a one sided, unfair trial via her blog for the world to see for the last 3 years.

She had another work function recently(3 months ago), her secret lover couldnt make it, so I thought was ok or I wouldve said NO!!!
She was planning to stay at her parents place afterwards, which I encouraged.(YEP DUMB AGAIN!!)They were overseas, yep dummer!!

The night went on & I sms'd her to see if she was ok & wished her goodnite around 11pm. NORMALLY Id get a "nigh nighs, I love you" reply.
No reply. After trying to call 4 or 5 times(phone switched off message) & no response from messages sent, it sank in.

Something bad had happened to her or she was in another mans bed.
Do I call the police?
Get the daughter up & head to her parents home??
(They were away, yeah I know, even "stupider" of me!!)
I loved her dearly & trusted her knowing the secret lover couldnt make it? He probably had to have sex with his wife or something???

My daughter had climbed into our bed that night, I sat on the end of the bed all night rocking back & forth, phone in hand, listening to my daughter snore, watching car headlights go up & down the mountain near our home.
Is it her??
The sun rose, still no reply.
Now feeling sick, empty, unloved, suicidal.

Then she called late in the morning,
her voice nervous "my phone went flat, Im um... at mum & dads"!. I know that she'd sooner die than have a flat phone, there's more than one method of charging her phone at her parents place.

She came home, was very defensive over the "flat phone", so I let it rest a while & kept monitoring her facebook for evidence of what happened that evening & upcoming "work drinks".

The online lover popped up again on facebook, flirting with her via facebook whilst she was at work.

Talk came up of the recent "Flat Phone Work Drinks", plans to decieve me with "works drinks" again very soon & that recently she'd slept somewhere other than her parents place afterwards. She was bragging that she could drink all nite with whoever & "crash" anywhere she pleased.

Does this sound like a woman in a 11yr defacto relationship & the mother of a now 4&1/2 yr old daughter????
Sounds more like a single 17yr old tart from the bad part of town......
He loved this!! Easy-going vagina up for anyone.

Then he texted the thing that paedophiles say to young children.....

Him:"Is this private?"
Him:"Can anyone else see this/us chatting?"

Her:"Yes private, no one else can see"

Him:"Should catch up again, have you read the book Fifty Shades of Grey?"
Her:"No but get the general idea!" {insert winking emticons after every sentence.....}
Him:what have you done/tried?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, SHE HAS A PARTNER & CHILD, I HAVE YOUR ADDRESS(I actually do & know where he works etc).

She was furious that I was on her Facebook.....
After work at home, she calmed down, we talked.
She confessed to two sexual acts with two different men, both from the same work depot!!!

Do I kick her out? -NO, I love her

Do I leave with/without the daughter? -NO we've worked so hard to get where we are, I gave up a good job to look after our daughter whilst she kept her career,I cant start over with another woman etc.

11 years is a long time, better the devil you know, if you get my angle.

Do I get revenge sex with another woman?? -NO,I love her too much to be with another woman & it wouldn't undo what's happened.

Id sooner masturbate than be with another woman, its just not worth the hassle.

Do I find these men & kill them, I know Id happily do 20yrs for killing the pair of them.

Extremely happy, Id be the Happiest man in prison, happier than I am currently, Id sleep better!!!

They knew of me & our daughter when they had sex with doubt

NO-I think I'll just give them a solid bashing if I see them anywhere, anytime. I wont hunt them down.

Doesn't matter, no holding back-they'll get whats coming, whatever I can wrap around their heads, just when they've forgotten their crimes.Could be years from now, but things have a habit of coming back to bite in life, its an extremely small world, both men work in the small isolated industry my partner does & its only a matter of when, not if........

OR: do I make peace with HER, forgive & ask her for her loyalty for the sake of our family,our daughter & US.

She said YES & has pledged her devotion.
Trust will take many years, maybe a lifetime.
We're starting over again! Im hurt badly, but I still love her.

We've made peace, Ive forgiven, definately not forgotten.

There's no more work drinks unless Im present.
Overnight stays will be scrutinised if allowed.

All male work colleagues will be guilty before innocent now, but hey what would you expect after everything???

We're rebuilding US & making wedding plans for next year.

Hopefully OUR future is OURS alone.....
Sorry for lengthy post, but story had to be told.

This website has helped me, thank you so much.

Thank you Jeff.

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