by John

My wife and I have been married for 14 years. 6 months ago, she told me she was unhappy with the way things were going.

She had started a new job 4 months earlier. She was a stay at home mother for 13 1/2 years prior.

I found text messages on her phone from a co-worker asking her to come over to his house, I confronted her and she become ill because I went through her phone.

She said he was a young guy and just got an apartment and was asking everyone to come by.

This was August '08. The next thing I found was an email from someone asking her to come to his house to smoke pot.

This was October '08. She smokes occasionally, but I have not since being a teenager. She says she never saw the voice mail and said he had the wrong impression.

The next time I found text messages to another guy and this was last weekend, 1/10/09. I confronted her again and she became totally pissed that I went through her phone again.

I also find where she has talked to another man, twice for 30 minutes. She complains that she hates to be on the phone.

Am I wrong? Should I trust that these are just friendships? She now wants to separate from each other to see if we can fix our marriage, start over and begin dating again.

I have been going to counseling for 2 months now and she won't go. The people I thought I could confide in, tell her what we discussed, so I really have no-one to talk to at this time.

I am distraught and have no idea what I should do next. I have been looking on the internet for a spy ware program to put on her phone to transmit all text messages so that I can truly see if I should be working on a failed marriage or life as a single father with three children.

I am looking for help, comfort and someone to lean on who may be going through the same thing.

Comments for Cant_Win

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Feeling your pain.
by: Anonymous

I hate to say it, but I would be looking at raising the kids alone. It never stops whether it is a man or a woman.

I have lived with this for over 20 years and the just friend comments. If they are not sharing thier texts, calls, and everything with you then they are cheating.

An open relationship is just that. They shouldn't mind if you read their texts or anything. I am looking forward to having a kid in college as a single mother next year.

I have decided to stay with my cheater, until I finish my masters degree and our son graduates high school. The day after his graduation party, his bags will be packed and on the front porch.

I feel for you with three little ones though, that is going to be tough.

I'm Going Through Same Thing
by: Babe

Hi...She is lieing to u...They are more than just friendship...My wife cheated on me with a co-worker...I will send u sites to read about this and also u will see in one of the sites , that ur marriage can survive affairs...Confronting is important, don't stand down...
U can email me personally and i will send u the websites to read and educate urself in how to beat the affair and ur wife being the game player, deceitful and dishonest... , Put in subject it's from u , thanks...


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