Caught cheating..... twice..."she said she had performed oral sex on him in his car during a break."

by TB
(Fort Collins, CO)

My wife cheated on me early in our marriage. I was able to forgive her for that indiscretion because I was not a very good husband and our relationship was weak. We worked through it and moved passed it. Recently I've never been more happy and felt more connected to anyone in my life. That's why this came as a complete surprise:

I just found out that my wife of 4 years had an affair with a co-worker. She talked about him and his friends quite a bit. I would ask questions about them and she would tell me what good people they were.

Then the story started to change. She would tell me about the heavy drugs some of them do and how a few ended up in jail, etc. I expressed my worries about associating with guys like that. Then she told me 3 of them had tried to hit on her, but she was smart enough to see their angle and put a stop to it.

I didn't hear much about them for awhile, but one day she came up and told me, "You should be proud of me, I told Nick that he couldn't sit by me anymore." This really caught me off guard and made my mind run wild. So I started asking questions. Slowly some truths started coming out.

She was giving him rides home everyday without letting me know. Going with him to his drug dealers house (keep in mind my wife is not a drug user). Been inside his house on numerous occasions and other things of the sort.

I had to keep pressing and eventually she admitted that they had kissed. They would take walks together around the lake by their work and one day he kissed her. I asked how much farther it went and she said she had performed oral sex on him in his car during a break.

Kept pressing and pressing and she admitted to having sex with him in his car. She said he lured her there and used his "moves" to make it happen.

As you can imagine, I was completely obsessed with finding out the whole truth. I finally started getting to the bottom of it. It turns out she pursued him. She took him to her car and had sex with him next to our 3 year old daughter's car seat.

I offered her several opportunities to come clean. I explained that if we were going to get through this that we have to have complete honesty. Yet, I still catch her lying about it.

She has been begging me to forgive her. I see the pain and regret in her face. I love her more than life, but how can we have a relationship when she can't tell me the whole truth?

I don't know what to do!

Comments for Caught cheating..... twice..."she said she had performed oral sex on him in his car during a break."

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stop being a doormat
by: daisyj

you let her get away with this?you need to tell her to stop or leeave.trouble is she/ll probably continue and lie.keep your eyes open.she sounds very immature and selfish.good luck.

Been there... kind of
by: -The Mirror

I'm in a relationship with someone I love very much but she had been involved with a co-worker/boss several years before we were together. Problem is she initially lied and told me nothing ever happened when I had asked her about a rumor I heard. 6 months later she told me she didn't want to lie anymore and was serious about our relationship. She told me the truth and it devastated me. She didn't CHEAT on me, but she had been lying and to me-- making a fool of me. The problem is she still works with him She plans on leaving the job in a few months, but for the past year I have gone through hell. My advice to you is that you have 2 things to deal with. 1- She cheated on you in YOUR CAR. Not that cheating os OK if in a motel, but your child's car seat didn't slap reality into her? I'm not sure how you could ever trust someone like that again. BUT if you do decide to forgive her, the only way you will ever be able to move on is for her not to work with or EVER contact him again. I fogert if you are married and don't want to swithc screens, but I would have her sign a contract stating that if she ever contacts him again or cheats with anyone else, she will waive any form of support after your divorce! If that document "offends her" then tell her that it's not nearly as offensive as having your child's car seat used as a headboard.

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