I just discovered my husband of over 30 years has been having an affair with a stripper on and off for 3 years.
While traveling, he went to a totally nude club (first time ever in a strip club) and met a "moral" stripper who claimed she did not have sex for money although last year alone he gave her over $40,000 for her services.
He started off just paying her to talk, blah, blah, blah.
He had been so verbally and emotionally abusive to me over the last three years my hair was falling out. Blaming me for everything.
I went to see a therapist in October and she told me in 45 minutes what she suspected. I could not believe it at first. He went to church every Sunday. She gave me tips on getting along with him until I could get myself financially prepared and see a lawyer.
Went to extremes to confirm before signing divorce papers. Found prepaid phone in his truck with 100's of "my love..." text messages from her.
Even found a camera with his own private porn show. Got in his truck and took everything to lawyer's office while he was being served.
He never suspected I knew a thing! If he could play this game, I could play it better was my motto! As his bookkeeper in business, I drained every cent he had before serving him.
Moved him out and changed locks while he was with her the last time. He was served the afternoon he returned from seeing her. Bought anything that he might take in the divorce (TVs, coffee pot, furniture, etc) and stored them.
Stockpiled paper products, toiletries, non-perishable items. I will never have to work again if I don't want. Never dreamed in a million years he would want to reconcile, willing now and seeing a therapist regularly but he may have waited too late.
I am devastated and more confused than ever.
Does he want me or the fortune he worked so hard for the last 30 years?
Once you've had a taste for the wild side can you go back? She was 20 years younger than him, not much older than his daughter.
Why would a man risk losing family and fortune for a quick roll in the hay and with a low-life stripper?
How warped to you have to be to believe she loves you when you are paying her every time you see her? Was this all about HIS pleasure, believe me he was all about himself in bed. He seems sincere now but I can't trust him, may never be able to again.
Does he truly see how ridiculous he was believing her lies?
Will I ever feel good about my body again? I'm a breast cancer survivor and dealing with the physical and emotional scars were already hard, now I'm even more insecure.
Ladies, DON'T put up with any type of pornography from your husband, even the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated! He has no respect for you if he looks at that kind of stuff.
It will eventually ruin your marriage and tear your family apart. Put filters on your computers, have the hard drives copied occasionally and keep a check on what is being searched. If marriage seems to be going in the wrong direction do whatever necessary to get help before it is too late!
Note to strippers: Please don't sleep with married men. If you have no respect for yourself or his wife, think of the innocent children that suffer because of his and your actions!
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