I am the Cheater

"I am the Cheater"

I am the Cheater

I met my boyfriend when I was 18(he was 28) and had our baby at 19.I could not have been more happy with my life,everything was going so good,until I decided to cheat on him.

When our baby was 3 years old I was out with some of my family at a party,there I ran into my ex-boyfriend,we drank until 2:00 am and I did not get home until 5:00am,my ex drove me home and I ended up kissing him.

A lot of people told me that kissing really wasn't cheating,as much as I wanted to believe that I knew that it was,so my boyfriend (who was now my fiance) and I separated & I stayed with some of my family.

My ex was always trying to come over and see me,and as much as I hate to admit it we ended up having sex more than once.

My boyfriend and I ended up talking alot and I told him everything that I had done with my ex,it took some time for us to get back together but we did.

When I came back home my boyfriend and I got married,which I think we should have waited until he had dealt with his feelings about what I had done,after we were married we just went downhill for a while,he told me on our honeymoon he did not think he could forgive me for what I had done.

After just 2 or 3 months of being married we separated,and I went back to stay with the same family member that I was with before,my husband was upset that I was going to stay at the same place where my ex used to come and see me.

So he went and filed for a divorce because he thought I was still sleeping with my ex(and I had not sleep with him again
)some time went by and we decided that we still wanted to be together,everything was going just fine until I ended up doing it again.

I am now 24 and I had started drinking alot and when I say alot I mean alot, like I was drinking about a case of beer a day.

Well about 3 weeks ago I had got really drunk one night(my husband and baby were sleeping)and my husbands best friend and his girlfriend came over,and we started drinking vodka straight from the bottle(I drank almost the whole bottle)and I ended up giving them both oral sex.

When I woke up the next morning I barely remembered what had happened,until they started telling me what happened.

I felt so disgusting & ashamed of myself I couldn't stand to look at myself.I wanted to tell my husband but I was so worried about hurting him,and I didn't want him to leave me so I kept that dirty secret,that is until his friend told him what had happened and my husband asked me about it and I knew I had to tell him,so I told him everything that happened.

He told me that he could not forgive me,that he hates me and all I am to him is a lying,cheating,whore.

So now he wants me to leave,and I can't blame him for the way he feels because what I did was very wrong.

Since that night I have taken a good look at my life and have decided to quit drinking,I can't believe it had to go this far for me to realize I could care less about partying anymore all I want is my husband back.

And because of one really stupid night I have lost the only man I have ever truly loved.So I just want to say to those who have thought or is thinking about cheating to take a good look at your life and ask yourself "Is it worth it?

"beacause for me it wasn't even close.

Comments for I am the Cheater

Click here to add your own comments

WTF!!! - "....get right with God"
by: Anonymous

You have some SERIOUS issues in my opinion. I would suggest getting into therapy or seeking some other kind of professional help.

I don't blame your husband one bit for kicking you to the curb (I am surprised he even married you).

Have you even thought about what you are doing to your child????? Some example you are setting. You don't deserve to be a mother or a wife.

Don't mean to sound so abrasive, but being a committed husband to a woman for 14 years and having her cheat on me (we are now divorced), I can relate to your husband and what he is going through.

Shame on you!!! Like the previous poster said, "You need to get right with God." Quit thinking of yourself and your agenda and start thinking of your child and what kind of future you want to provide for him/her.

I apologize for my tone, but people like you just piss me off. If your husband takes you back he is NUTS and will be a "glutten for punishment". He deserves better.

You obviously don't value yourself too much. I really hope you clean up your act and be a REAL mother to your kid. Good luck!!!

U Took Each Other For Granted
by: Babe

U need to the root of the problem as to why you are cheating...What is it that you are lacking?..Is it basically starved sexual attention you were seeking?...Are you the type of person who can't say " NO"?...It sounds like you need to go to church and bring jesus in your heart n soul...Read the bible first corithians (chapters 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 )....Educate yourself about affairs and cheating...Give your ex husband time to deal with the emotions he is dealing with inside himself...He is feeling hurt, pain, abandonment, ripped life out of his heart...It will take him some time to heal...Have you asked your ex husband to go to counseling with you?...Have you sent your ex husband a heart felt apology?...That is something you do owe him...The two words ( I'm sorry ) isn't a heart felt apology...You need to give your ex husband the time to also get over the feelings of being betrayed, unfaithful , loyalty , dishonesty , trust , by you...It's time you stop being selfish and also think about his feelings...Ask yourself how would you feel if he did this to you?...Reverse it and educate yourself about cheating and what the non cheating spouse feels and goes through inside themself...I do have a very good site that will help you and open your eyes wider as to how much damage you have caused another decent human being...Don't do unto others what you , wouldn't want done to you....Marriages do survive infidelity and one person can save the marriage...

God bless
Babe (WA)

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Signs of Cheating Spouse Forum.

Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please share with others. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.