I am the Cheater
"I am the Cheater"
I am the Cheater
I met my boyfriend when I was 18(he was 28) and had our baby at 19.I could not have been more happy with my life,everything was going so good,until I decided to cheat on him.
When our baby was 3 years old I was out with some of my family at a party,there I ran into my ex-boyfriend,we drank until 2:00 am and I did not get home until 5:00am,my ex drove me home and I ended up kissing him.
A lot of people told me that kissing really wasn't cheating,as much as I wanted to believe that I knew that it was,so my boyfriend (who was now my fiance) and I separated & I stayed with some of my family.
My ex was always trying to come over and see me,and as much as I hate to admit it we ended up having sex more than once.
My boyfriend and I ended up talking alot and I told him everything that I had done with my ex,it took some time for us to get back together but we did.
When I came back home my boyfriend and I got married,which I think we should have waited until he had dealt with his feelings about what I had done,after we were married we just went downhill for a while,he told me on our honeymoon he did not think he could forgive me for what I had done.
After just 2 or 3 months of being married we separated,and I went back to stay with the same family member that I was with before,my husband was upset that I was going to stay at the same place where my ex used to come and see me.
So he went and filed for a divorce because he thought I was still sleeping with my ex(and I had not sleep with him again
)some time went by and we decided that we still wanted to be together,everything was going just fine until I ended up doing it again.
I am now 24 and I had started drinking alot and when I say alot I mean alot, like I was drinking about a case of beer a day.
Well about 3 weeks ago I had got really drunk one night(my husband and baby were sleeping)and my husbands best friend and his girlfriend came over,and we started drinking vodka straight from the bottle(I drank almost the whole bottle)and I ended up giving them both oral sex.
When I woke up the next morning I barely remembered what had happened,until they started telling me what happened.
I felt so disgusting & ashamed of myself I couldn't stand to look at myself.I wanted to tell my husband but I was so worried about hurting him,and I didn't want him to leave me so I kept that dirty secret,that is until his friend told him what had happened and my husband asked me about it and I knew I had to tell him,so I told him everything that happened.
He told me that he could not forgive me,that he hates me and all I am to him is a lying,cheating,whore.
So now he wants me to leave,and I can't blame him for the way he feels because what I did was very wrong.
Since that night I have taken a good look at my life and have decided to quit drinking,I can't believe it had to go this far for me to realize I could care less about partying anymore all I want is my husband back.
And because of one really stupid night I have lost the only man I have ever truly loved.So I just want to say to those who have thought or is thinking about cheating to take a good look at your life and ask yourself "Is it worth it?
"beacause for me it wasn't even close.