Intoxicated Cheating - Is it just an excuse?

by Cynthia
(San Diego, CA)

I need advice on "intoxicated cheating".

I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years now. It has been a very difficult two years.

In the very short two year period, my boyfriend who supposedly "loves me" has cheated on me three times.

The first time he cheated, he claimed he was totally wasted and didnt know what he was doing. It was very early in our relationship and I forgave him. I was still trying to cutoff my ties with my ex, so this was one of the reasons why I forgave him.

The second time he cheated, we had gotten into a really big fight. We hadn't talked for about two days. He once again claimed that he thought we were broken up and cheated while being extremely intoxicated.

Recently, someone told me that they saw my boyfriend totally wasted in a club making out with some b*tch. I have had my differences with this person that told me about my boyfriend but somehow I believe what she said.

That night he did come home totally wasted once again. I confronted him about it and he denied everything.

Looking back, the first time he got drunk and cheated should have been a sign for me to run for the hills. I feel like I have invested so much time and I do love him.

I am looking for advice from anyone that has experiences with "intoxicated cheating".

I have told myself that the person who told me about this last "drunk cheating incident" is lying just because I want to give my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt and it also makes it easier for me to sleep at night.

Please Help! Is it possible that my boyfriend thinks that intoxicated cheating is excusable? Could that really be possible?

Comments for Intoxicated Cheating - Is it just an excuse?

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Leave him ASAP
by: Anonymous

From my experience, being with a man who drinks that much is too much work, heartache, and frustration even without the cheating. Leave him before he gives you a disease that he picks up while cheating.

It's not an excuse
by: Anonymous

Unless you are black-out drunk, you do know what you're doing, and you know you're making bad choices. However, the consequences don't matter nearly as much as when you're sober. It's the next day that will make you cringe.

So, he knew exactly what he was doing. Only the CONSEQUENCES didn't seem so bad at the time, or they seemed worth it. Drunk logic.

Seriously, I've made my fair share of bad drunken choices, and except for the times when I was blacked-out, I knew exactly what I was doing. (This is why I don't drink anymore, lol!)

He has no respect for you, and honestly, he's probably cheated more than just the times you know about. And unless he is willing to take a long hard look at himself and make some changes, he is going to continue to cheat. I've known guys like him in my life. They are broken and it is not your responsibility to fix them.

I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying this because I've been there and I wish somebody had said it to me.

You deserve much, much better. Good luck dear.

by: Anonymous

Life is too short to stay with a boyfriend for that long knowing he doesn't respect and love you enough to make better decisions, he does it because you are letting him and he is gettimg away with it.

I am sure if you did it he would leave you. The only time I suggest trying to work anything out is if you are married with children, if its just a boyfriend honey there are much more fish in the sea, swim away....

Get yourself together...
by: CloudsbyMies

"Is it possible that my boyfriend thinks that intoxicated cheating is excusable?" "Could that really be possible?" Are these serious questions?!

What are you talking about?! You will show him that you rember what he is, a lying SOB, and you'll REMIND him who you are! You are an intelligent, sophisticated woman, guys line up for you! For all I know, you could rule this earth if you had to.. And most of all; you have selfrespect.

Remind him of all those things you seem to have forgotten about yourself by staying with this guy.

Pull yourself together! And pull him apart.

Kind regards,


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