Around Thanksgiving my husband of 20 some years came home really late and when I asked him where he had been because he had never done that before. He was really rude and told me it was none of my business. After he went to bed I started to do some checking---He wrote my friend that he had a really good time and that he "didn't regret anything". So that sparked some more checking and I found out that he was on craigslist casual encounters looking for sex for about a month or so.
Of course I told him what I found out and he told me that the fact I started checking on him was as bad as him propositioning my best friend for sex, and that he was also looking for it online. My friend told me that he told her "either she has sex with him or he was going out to get it any way he can". She told him that she would do nothing to hurt me or our friendship and sent him on his way. by the was we have a regular sexual relations.
Well he told me that the sex online was just a phase he was going through and that he realized that he had too much to lose to go through it. And far as my best friend he told me that he just had a crush on her and that he was over that, and nothing happened except some footrubs and slap and tickle. He did change all his passwords. I have found no further evidence with looking for sex on craigslist.
As the weeks progressed I did found out he kept trying to get her(my friend) to "have a talk because they needed to clear the air and discuss their issues". They discussed this once while we had been in a group setting, he cornered her upstairs in a bed room to do this. But apparently he had more issues to discuss because he kept at it, finally she told him she didn't have anything more to discuss with him and that he should stop because they are only friends and that was the way it was going to stay, nothing more. That it was putting her in the middle and making her unconfortable.
He was depressed and angry at her for doing this.
Right now I don't know what to do, I have been married to this man for a long time and we have alot of history. Our son will be going away to the Marines the end of summer, and I'm afraid that at that time my husband will just say, see ya...I believe I have been a good wife-don't give him too much grief and don't nag, our sex life could be better but its not from lack of trying. I like being married but I don't know which way to turn, if I should trust him again or what, I haven't lived on my own most of my adult life, and as far as supporting myself wow that would be tough...I'd like any outsiders view, any comments I could really use them.
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