Never His Queen

by Maureen
(Myrtle Beach)

We were young and the world was ours. I thought we'd have it all. Even before I was yours and you were mine, quickly did my faith in us fall. I had you up so high on a throne. You were like a spotless king to me. I waited for you to tell me that I'd be your spotless queen to be. You had fear. You had doubts.

You pointed out my blemishes so clearly. My insecurities and your fears made my heart grow weary. A prowling haughty prince saw my weakened state and took me in his arms. Never did I think I'd be capable of falling for his charms.

He did not love me. He made that clear. You were unsure and made nothing clear. He wanted me. He made that clear. I was lonely and fearful, and you were not near. Though he did not take what was yours completely.

He did kiss me tightly and sweetly. The guilt and shame I've carried for years still haunts me. You said loved me. You said you forgave. Twelve years later you taunt me. I'm your wife. She is not. You say she is just a friend. When I mention her you become hot. You bring up my sin. I thought that was at an end.

You dig it up from the grave. Details. Every single detail you demand of me. I told you twelve years ago what happened between the haughty prince and me.

You have changed my spotless king. You are so proud and rude. You pay me no mind. I remember how you tried to win me by being humble and kind. You remind me of the haughty prince.
Your love making is crude. You guard your secrets with codes. You are gone so late. You keep your distance.

You bear your soul to another. She is in your mind. Is she your spotless queen? Does she consume your dreams? Does she have all your love and I your wife all your hate? What is my fate? Will I beg for love from my king like a filthy servant girl at his feet? Will my king sit at the table with his new queen, his April rain and eat.

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