Not So Sure

by pamela

Ok Well,

I'm going to try.

Day after Christmas, I come home, husband putting away some groceries he purchased and proceeds upstairs to the shower.

Something odd, since he showered that morning. We were going to a holiday party and he said he needed to wash his hair, he didn't like the way it looked and he said he was in the rain all day.

I see the cute little reindeer boxers I gave him for Christmas and was surprised he didn't show them off to me when he put them on...

Alarms started going off my blood pressure rose, I mean, why because, this guy had open heart surgery 8 years ago and we didn't have sex because of meds and all that ED stuff.

Loving him through better or worse, I'm thinking why am I feeling so strange. I pull the underwear out of the laundry and could smell cinnamon before I even pull them out.

They reeked of cinnamon! I tasted them they were sweet and my tongue went numb. I'm rheeling inside!

Here I'm thinking he's been conning me for years with this impotence thing! What the heck is going on.

I confront him and oh, all they wrong I am , I'm sick, I sick to think this etc etc. This guy kisses me like my gandpa, won't let me touch him especially the vitals.

I'm thinking all this time its embarrassement and try to talk about it but he's like gets all wierdy.

I let things go as well as I could after this violent denial. I mean he is pissed! Then says as we leave for the party, "don't go there again" whats that supposed to mean?

I bide my time, we discuss it again it doesn't go too well. Yells at me, my prick doesn't work jerk! So again I think ok, he can't do it so...

he says he doesn't know what I'm talking about what gel, they must have come that way, I don't know anything about what you are talking about. Ok

A week later, we have a little more small talk about his' problem" I finally grab it and guess what, it gets a little stiff. Then he tells me its hard work to get off.

hmmm, he's only taking 5m of isoproprolol for High BP.

I know there is a story here. I'm not really satisfied with his answers and can't trust him. Ugh. I hate this.

Been together 16 years married for 10. I gave up having kids. This is making me crazy.

He will not go to counseling and says the doc never addreassed the ED issue with his heart condition. Oh WEll. I'm not getting anywhere.

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