Still wondering

We had just got married in the fall. My wife had got a new job in a big city for a nonprofit company before we got married.

She is quite beautiful and very nice to everyone. This company had a private contractor for their IT services and she told me how nice he is in helping her.

He was teaching her how to use MS Office and spent quite a bit of time with her. She already knew how to use the application from her last job.

I also work in the IT field and I told her that I do not teach my clients to use MS Office as much as he does, funny thing he did not spend as much time with the other 2 ladies in her office in the use of MS Office.

I also noticed that when she logged on to her computer that he would use MS messenger and say good morning to her. He would call her desk as soon as she logged on and I was there. I took notice. I told her he was hitting on her and she told me I was wrong.

We would get phone calls at home and when I answered I would get a hang up. I don't know if she got a hang up when she answered because I wasn't around or she did not answer our phone if we were home together.

He would ask here to lunch and she would go with him. She would tell me when she went. On the phone hang ups, I traced it back to his phone number. I told her about it and got no reaction from her. We went to her company's Christmas dinner and she introduced me to all the people she worked with except him.

I introduce myself to him and made sure he knew who he was dealing with. I was angry at my wife because there was no introduction to him. While at the dinner, he would watch her every move and I mentioned this to her and she told me I was wrong.

When the new year (Jan.)came , I notice a difference in our relationship and I asked her if she wanted to stay married to me. She answered "I don't know".

I was devastated and angry. This went on for a couple of months and then she told me she loved me. I felt we were back in a loving relationship. In April, once again I noticed something in our marriage was different and asked the same question, do you want to stay married to me.

I got the "I don't know" answer again. This time I was pissed and asked her what the F--- do you want? because I had had it with this situation. As time went by she told me she wanted to stay married. Her company always had a summer party at the camps that they owned and I always went with her before we got married.

I never saw him there. When it was time for the party, I had asked my Boss for the time off for that day. I assumed that I was going with my Wife and told her of the arrangement I had made with my Boss. She told me she did not want me to go this time.

I was pissed and her excuse was she did not want me using vacation time. I told her I was salaried and had already made up the time. She told me she still did not want me to go. I stayed home and waited for her.

She got home a hour and a half later then it should have taken her. I did not ask why. To this day I feel I should have followed her to the party. We have been married over 15 years since this incident took place.

I feel she went without me because she was telling him she wanted to stay married to me. And I did find out he was there. The next year I went with her and he was not there.

She did mention to me that he did call her at home when I was not home. She said it was weird that he did. She tells me this 14 years later. We are still married and I know this is old news, but it bothers me because we both were dumped by our spouses from previous marriages.

And I want the truth what went on. I do have my trust issues with people due to a previous relationship, I do not want to be hurt again, especially when you lay your whole life out the for your some one you trust.

I just wanted a perspective of other peoples point of view.

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