The honest, faithful one

I have been with my husband for over 20 years on and off. We have officially been married for four.

He has had numerous affairs and I have caught him in every one. He has given me crabs one time and claimed he got it from the port-o-potty at work, like I am stupid.

Now he has been going out every night after work and drinking and I found a number on his cell phone investigated and found out that it was another woman.

I called her and talked to her and told her he was married, and asked her if they slept together. She said that he slept with her, but she didn't sleep with him.

Whether it was just the fact that she was some dumb bar whore who doesn't understand the difference or just a dumb ass period ( I believe the latter), she still helped to destroy my marriage.

Although I know the blame doesn't lie with her, because she was shocked when she called his cell phone while he was asleep and his wife answered the phone.

I know he works with a lot of woman and I know all of them and I don't mind if they call him because he is the boss on the job, but all of these woman are married and know me.

So, after being treated like shit for almost 20 years I have finally grew a set of balls and told him that we will still live as a family until our son graduates next year, but he better have a place to live by then because the day after our sons graduation party, he needs to go.

I am not playing the wife role anymore. He can do his own clothes, his own cooking, and his own everything because I am not going to be doing any of it anymore.

I have forgiven him over and over, but this time it is over. The really sad thing is I gave up a guy for a lot less than this who treated me like a queen and I never forgave him for one little white lie. It really sucks.

I cannot believe that after over 20 years together, he still does not know or realize that I know him better than he knows himself. What an asshole. I am done and so over this.

Well Thanks for listening to my vent. Although I am sure others problems are worse than mine, I needed a place to vent and maybe someone who would understand my feelings for a change.

It will be nice hearing that other people care more about my feelings than the man who is supposed to be the one to consider my feelings has no care about how or what he does to me mentally.

Comments for The honest, faithful one

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Cheating - "...cheating thing does trump everything"
by: Anonymous

Unfortunately the cheating thing does trump everything.

My husband is a great father, great friend, however has been cheating on me for about a year.

The other woman has continually tried to separate us and has lied to him continually and yet he still believes this other person over me!

I have never lied to him, even if it was hurtful. This girl told me that her family wanted her to absolutely have nothing to do with him and yet tells him that they'll get over it.

I want to write her mom so bad and tell her the truth about everything between them... but then am I being petty?

I just feel like everyone should know the truth about them.....

They won't change!
by: Anonymous

Never trust a cheater. In my book, "ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER." If they do it once, kick their ass to the curb and let them hurt someone else.

I was married to my wife for 14 years (together 17 years). About 3 years into our marriage she cheated on me. We sought counseling and got through it because we had a little girl to think about. Things got back to normal over time and we were both happy. We built a new house, had good careers, had a newborn son and a wonderful daughter....WE HAD IT ALL!!! I never fully trusted her again, but I NEVER figured she would stray again. Lo and behold, fast forward 12 years and she got introduced to Facebook. She spent countless hours on her laptop, she became distant, cut me off from sex, started treating me like shit, hung out with her "friends" and left me to care for the kids, all the housework, etc...She started losing weight, working out all the time, changing her hair style, bought a whole new wardrobe, etc....ALL THE CLASSIC SIGNS!!! I knew the storm was coming, but couldn't stop it. I tried hard to talk to her and all I got was "I need my space" and "I am confused" (more classic signs). I became non-existent in her life. I started my own investigation and found MANY things she was doing behind my back. She was lying about EVERYTHING!!!! I was "fixed" after our son was born and found out she was getting birth control. That was IT for me!!! I filed for divorce and never looked back. DON'T BELIEVE THEM...THEY ARE NOT SORRY (only that they got caught). YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!! NOBODY DESERVES THAT!!! If the intent to cheat is there...THEY WILL DO IT!!!! Facebook (I call it CHEATBOOK), MySpace, etc.....are a perfect vehicle for them to meet people and CHEAT!!!! It's easy and they will take full advantage of it!!!! KICK THEM TO THE CURB!!!!!!!!


You matter, too
by: Anonymous

They don't "come around" if you decide to stick it out. They just learn from their mistakes and try to be more careful so they don't get caught. You're dealing with a person that not only doesn't value or comprehend their supposed commitment to you, but they've also learned that they can get away with cheating because you have forgiven them before.

They might also take advantage of the fact that you appear to be fighting to keep them and catering to them so they don't choose the "other person."

Infidelity is one of the lowest forms of betrayal, and it should tell you that there is probably a lot you don't know about this person. They are out for themselves because whatever spoken or unspoken bond you had with them is no longer important to them. They put their own feelings ahead of yours, and that is where love ends.

Is this a pandemic?
by: Anonymous

Reading your story scares me because I'm in the same situation. My hubby is a really good person, and a great father. But I've already caught him cheating twice. After I confront him he doesn't lie and try to hide it.

Just recently I realized he was "talking" to someone else and pressed him to make a decision. He swars he loves our family and loves me, but I know for a fact he keeps talking on the phone to the other woman.

What should we do? start over? what guarantees do we have the next person won't do the same, and what about all the good qualities that he has ?

My self esteem is so trashed!!!

Are there faithful men?

I feel your pain and ask myself if this will be me 20 years down the road. I've caught my husband cheating on me twice.

In every case he's tried to make it seem like the girl is crazy and is stalking him. Of course he knows I don't buy that so of course I give them a call and the confirm the affair.

I love him and I love so many good qualities he has but do the good qualities trump the cheating?

He knows that I'm not putting up with this much longer but I wonder do I throw in the towel?

Are there any faithful men out there? Every single guy I've date has cheated on me for the exception of one who was a great guy but we never clicked as a couple. UGH... life is just so unfair...

I've looked at my self to figure out if it is something I'm doing but I think I'm too good to him.

What could he possibly get from cheating???

I've actually given him the option to just get divorced and not drag me through this. I told him he was free to go and be with whomever but he swears he loves me and would never hurt me.

That he will never leave me. Where does that leave me?

Do I have to leave him?

This man would be perfect if it wasn't for the cheating. He's still very loving and caring.. I just don't understand his actions!

So, I definitely feel your pain.... I just thought for now I will fight for my husband and my marriage and he will come around.

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