Too many lies

I've been married for 17 years. Atleast 15 have been unhappy. My husband has told so many lies and his excuse was " I don't know why I said that it was stupid"

How many times can you hear that lame excuse. The best is he went and played baseball with his co workers. Then came home an hour later than usual. I asked where he was and said he went to lunch with two guys from the team.

Well about an hour later he went to work and one of the guys he supposably he played ball with and went to lunch called the house about a half hour after he left and wanted to know if they won the game.

Well I guess he didn't go to lunch with him. When confronted he got so mad that his co worker called the house. He would carpool to work with a female co worker and if she drove I wasn't allowed in the car.

This went on for two years. He said she is only a friend and that was about it. He said she never disrespected me. He left me on a highway god know where because we were at a wedding with this female co worker and they were making plans to carpool.

I got upset and said let me out of the car and he did. In the middle of no where. A stranger took me home to my moms house. I called him when I got home and woke him up. The worst is he seems to have no remorse.

The lies are endless. I'm not a fool. I just don't have a way out. He gets very nasty like I've done something wrong to him. He even told me once when we were fighting that he did cheat on me. Of course he says he said that to get me mad. The reason we were arguing was because of his lie and car pooling with this female worker.

I'm so empty and don't know what to do. I don't want sex and he has given up trying. He definitely has to be getting it somewhere. He has been retired for two years from the police department and now wants to be a family. We have two kids a daughter 16 and son 12.

I will never ever trust him for all the hurt he caused me for his own immaturity. That's his excuuse now for how he acted for 15 years. He says everyone has their problems like it's normal what I went through. He is angry at me that I am so resentful towards him.

There is so much more. He has no remorse for his lies and if I bring it up he says we spoke about this. In the past he has been physically abusive and verbally. No respect for me at all.

My problem is he won't let me go and threatens me if I say I want a divorce. He says I will get nothing because he worked hard for what he has. My question is how can I get concrete evidence if he is dening it all.

I didn't catch him red handed. He even called a friends mistress who was married herself because of something that happened with his friend by the way the male friend has never had any respect for me even stuck his middle finger up at me.

My husbands answer was oh he's stupid when I called this guy an asswhole one time my husband go so mad at me. My problem is now I am in nursing school and don't have the means to support me and the kids.

I have a partime Job that I'm taking a leave from to finish school. He is willing to pay off my credit cards so I am doing that. But I am sooo unhappy everyday of my life.

Why won't he see this and let me go.I gave him the option to take a lie detector test at first he agreed and then said no. This went back and fourth and the final result us he won't.

What does that tell you.I want proof so that I don't feel guilty. Please help me