Comments for Torn.....What to do

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You're both lucky..."You obviously love her"
by: Anonymous

Torn, keep working at it. As a woman who left a 23 year marriage and is now having an affair with a married man, I should know. :( Your heartfelt writing tells it all.

You obviously love her and the fact that you're seeing a therapist and have resumed a physical relationship are good signs.

You also freely admit your past wrongdoings and seem truly contrite. I never actually was unfaithful while I was living with my husband.

That started after I moved out. Keep working at, keep loving her and paying attention to her. I think it'll work out.

You should stay
by: Anonymous

I hope you have decieded to stay. But you guys should have boundaries. The trust has been broken and she should be able to come to you and talk to eachother when she feels tempted.

You have two children and if you can trust her in the fact that she will stay with you in sickness or hardtimes by her staying by your side realize she lacked judgement and this guy had set a net for your wife.

He had it all planned, and yes she went willingly but this guy was proably a player or a predator and he could pick up on her insecurities from the start.

Now that you know your wife can't say no talk about what is appropriate for both of you in your dealings with the opposite sex.

I hope you give it one more try and the trust can be rebuilt. Marriage is tough if it was easy everyone would do it.

Try this..
by: Anonymous

From experience in a similar situation, I think that a wife of 10 years who realized she was so wrong can make a mistake.

I am glad to hear you gave a second chance. All you can do now is enjoy the great relationship you two have.

Life is too short to worry the whole time. Trust her word and enjoy the special thing you two have. If it ever happened again then I would say see you later.

But just give it a shot and dont hold back loving every moment of it. You both made bad decisions in the relationship. Grow on them together and realize sometimes you are still just human.

Hope that could help...

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