Why Is Cheating so Addictive?

by Addicted to Cheating

Addicted to Cheating and Can't Stop

Addicted to Cheating and Can't Stop

Why Is Cheating So Addictive?

I hear all the time that if you loved someone you would never cheat on them?

I use to believe this. I now know that is not the case. I personally love my boyfriend but I have been exposed to the cheating VIRUS!


I made a terrible mistake about 6 months ago. I had a little to much to drink, one thing led to another (sounds like an excuse, I know) and i ended up doing it in a co-workers car. (first time I ever did something like this).

I don't know what happened to me, or what made me do it. But ever since that night I have been filled with a VIRUS that consumes my rational thoughts. The intense rush I got in that car overwhelmed me and I have cheated several times with this same co-worker in an attempt to feel the way I did that night.

I always feel terrible after I cheat, but the feeling goes away soon enough and thoughts fill my head of when the next time will be when I will be consumed again by this VIRUS!

I know It sounds like I am making excuses, but up until about 6 months ago I had never cheated. Now I can't stop. I know I love my boyfriend but things are now starting to change.

Why is cheating so addictive? I know I need to end this, but I am not sure how to.

I know I will be judged badly and I know that i should be but this still does not help me to understand why I feel this way and why I have become the person that I have become.

Please, if there is anyone that has felt this way please let me know!

Comments for Why Is Cheating so Addictive?

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I like my girl cheating
by: Tommy

My gf cheated on me and confessed about a month later. At first I was pissed, but I didn't want to leave her. She told me she didn't know why she did it.

After thinking on it for some reason it became a turn on for me. Go figure right? I told her she can have sex with whoever she wants, as long as a condom is used of course.

My only rule was don't bring him to or around the house. I didn't want to know who it was or what he looked like.

Eventually it got even kinkier, and I told her to start taking pics and videos of the penetration and send them to my phone. I would jerk off to other guys having her. I even uploaded them to my computer. Sometimes I would open them and have her in doggy position, and make her stare at what she did. I could tell she felt guilty she would even apologize.

I was getting off on her guilt, to the point where i was taunting her with it asking if she liked doing other guys more than me. Or ask if each individual was better than me, is that why you like to cheat? She would insist "no."

But I know she was playing along to (with the guilt.) It was like role play for us.

The funny thing is I never cheated on her once. it was more fun to RP like this for me. We've been together 14 months. She's probably screwed about 7 other guys in that time span.

But I guess we're both freaks. Lack of monogamy on her part just didn't bother me, it excited me. As long as she loves me and is coming home to me, it didn't bother me, the exact opposite in fact. I'm not sure whether I like the fact that other dudes get to feel her or her feeling others and still coming back to me... maybe both. Either way, so far it works and I'm fine with it.

The rush turns me on
by: Anonymous

Oh my such honesty makes me feel like I should spill my story.. I married my high school sweetheart and love him to bits and love our sex life, we been together 6 years but been married for 3 and we have a little boy.
But first about my past lots of short term boyfriends I left most of them out of boredom but not before finding a replacement bf.
I started cheating on my husband with a mutual friend who I have always had a thing for. My hubby didn't want to go out with us and my girlfriends and I picked him up, long story short my friends ditched and we were drinking and talking about my marriage issues went back to his place and things happened. It was such a rush could barely participate my heart beat fast and face went hot and down there too. It started happening whenever my husband was not around I did try to stop it and stay away but we all hung out we had to pretend like nothing happened. My husband thought of him as his best friend!! It eventually got too much for me I could think of nothing else and I found someone else to sleep with to get over the endless thoughts. When I told my husband about the third guy he ran to his so called friend and I seriously thought I was busted!! He forgave me and we eventually left that place and moved to Cape Town and things were great between us but now he's gone and I found someone else but was a one night thing and now it's brought back all the thoughts I have to go back to that town alone and I seriously don't trust myself... I cant help it the rush turns me on and I don't want to hurt my husband or son not confused about who I want to be with just love the attention I don't know. I also want these guys to want me even tho they can't have me I need cuddles and texts too. I don't like to feel like a one night stand.. no hate comments please this was not easy to share any thoughts?

Life Long Addict-"Most people you just really can't talk to about this, because unless they have the virus"
by: Anonymous

My first time was when I was in high school with my frist girlfriend ever I was 17 at the time. I am now 30, engaged, and I have cheated on every single GF that I have had since, including my fiance (5 different times in our 3 year relationship. 4 in the past year). I always feel guilty and I tell myself that I will stop but I can't seem to kick the craving. And it wouldn't matter size, color, shape, if you exuded sexuality I was into you. Also I am a good looking guy who's in shape, so finding women has never been a problem. And there was never anything wrong with the relationship. I would cheat in the beggining, when things are great. I would cheat on girls that loved me immensely and treated me great. None of those things held me back. The only thing that was the same with all of the women was that they were the girl next door, innocent type, and the girl I cheated with were well... your "slutty" type. I always thought that if I could only find a girl next door type with a slutty streak, then maybe I would stop. Im 30 now and still haven't. So I just gave up and decided to try and boxmyself in.
I thought that getting engaged, moving in, and buying a ring (becoming financially committed) would help but I still have not been able to stop. Now the wedding is in 7 months and I have no idea how I am supposed to all of a sudden stop. I would try and get out but I'm too much of a coward. I would feel terrible crushing her, dissapointing my family, her family (and we even work together so ending the relationship would become unprofessional).
It is a little comforting to know that there are others out there with the same issue. I wish there was some group cheaters annomous class where we could all get to and gather and talk about life, where we could have sponsors and stuff like that. I have gone to therapy but even in therapy (twice, for over a year each) I have felt that they couldn't relate to what I was going through. Most people you just really can't talk to about this, because unless they have the virus, they just don't understand.
I have read what other people have said and my last hail mary is going to be to restrain from sex and any sort of porn until the wedding night. hopefully providing a detox and resetting my system. Well see how that goes.

How to break the cheating addiction
by: Anonymous

One of the best ways to describe why its an addiction, is that its like an insane adrenalin rush. knowing that you did it and didn't get caught. that is where the rush comes from. i have been there. i am a 32yo man, that up until 2 years ago, never cheated once in his life. i was with a co-worker, actually she was training me for a new job, she started mildly flirting with me, and talking about how much fun it is to get away with "things" as she put it. knowing i was married she still continued. i let my guard down and thought that it was just innocent flirting. NO SUCH THING!!! i ended up sleeping with her once, then the rush got me. i have cheated on every single woman i have been with since cause i cant stop myself. knowing that im getting away with something so taboo and wrong makes every single sensation so much more intense. i was so addicted that i have 7 girlfriends at once just to try and feed my hunger for the rush. i did break my addiction tho. its hard and it takes every ounce of willpower you have but it can be done. the first step is the hardest by far. and it requires a long dry spell if you will. no gfs, bfs for at least a solid year. not even a fwb. no physical contact. rob your body and mind of the feelings and retrain yourself to live without that rush and if you can make a year, its all down hill from there. the rest of the steps are basic and easy to master. like mentally hating yourself for what you have done. i know it sounds strange and hokey but it works. don't hurt yourself or get physical with it just in your mind use as much ridicule and hatred as needed to make sure you cant even look at another person in that way without overwhelming guilt and shame taking over your thinking. that will help with the temptation getting the better of you. weather or not you believe me, brooding can be very effective.

addiction is a big word girl!!!!
by: Anonymous

when u are addicted u cant stop it i know that but the fear of losing sumone very very important coz of that adiction?! do u feel its worth it?
if u can let go the love of your life for that adiction than go ahead but try ur level best to stop it or prevent it.
change the job if u can or try to avoid meeting that guy as much as possible
please think of your love....don't lose him like i did

Also addicted..-"its now all i think about"
by: Anonymous

I cheated to get back at my husband for cheating on me. Well, its now all i think about. i haven't again but i want to bad.

Also have the "virus"
by: Anonymous

Well, sadly, it happened to me about a year ago and I never looked back. Then my husband found out. We are currently in the middle of a divorce. I also don't understand how it started or why, but it felt so good I just didn't care anymore. But I must admit... now that I'm single and CAN do what I want without worrying... it's lost some of the appeal. What gives?

Living a Lie - "I like the thrill I get, it gives me independence.."
by: Anonymous

What kills me the most is not having anyone to talk to about this. i guess that's why we have blogs.

I'm glad i'm not alone. All day I'm feeling like i'm f**ked up in the head for cheating, but at the same time i feel like it's doing great things for me.

I have never cheated on any other boyfriends, and I hav been with my current bf for 5 years... he is the first guy ive dated that has TRUSTED ME. 2 of my ex's were extremely jealous and controlling and always thought i was cheating on them and i never did.

Now i have lots of freedom and space and i'm completely taking advantage of it. But a part of me feels like I DESERVE IT?!?

I like the thrill I get, it gives me independence, it's also been very inspiring 4 me with writing music.

I like f**ing this guy who ive been friends with for 6 years and knowing that i could never turn in2 n e thing.

I luv my boyfriend, he's my best friend, and the sex is good, and we "make luv" which was rare for me in the past.

My f**k buddy on the other hand, is just mad crazy f**king... and even if i feel like i shouldn't do it agen, soon enuff i'm anticipating the next time.

I luv the rush of somthing new. neither my bf and i are interested in marriage any time soon.

i wish i could just tell him and then be like, "hey u can cheat on me too!" but he's not interested, i've already kind of tried to say that jokingly.

The worst part is he knows the guy and i tell him when I go over there and he says, "have fun, stay as long as you want!"

I hate lying, but i do like having this secret. my bf is 10 years older than me and i still feel like i'm young and want to be bad... a part of me feels like he would understand, but i know that's not true. ugh. thanks for the "support."

Addicted as well
by: SL

It's normal, I am also addicted to that even though i love my bf. I don't even want to stop. I love the feeling of risk, i love the excitement and everything else related to it.
I had lovers, and I was in love with them, but still loving my bf. Is it trashy? Hypocrite? I don't know. I always stop the relation with a lover when he wants more from me, when he doesn't seem to be able to live with the fact that he is the second one in my life. Till now i had 4 lovers (of course not in the same time).
So girl, do what you feel. This excitement keeps my relation alive:)

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